Pushing Buttons
by enchanted-mind
Summary: Alice is the new girl at school, and Jasper is the notorious trouble maker. Her first day turns sour when she meets him and all hell breaks loose from the first words out of his mouth. How far can pride take this war? AH. AU. Canon. Lemons.
1. Balls

**A/N:** So... This is my first attempt at doing something light-hearted with servings of smut. I won't make a habit out of it, I promise, but the idea came into my head and I had to write it down. It's short. It's to the point. There's a lot of dialogue, a lot of jokes, and even more ego-squashing.

The story also has a trailer to help get you in the mood: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=IGcztF_xuEg (remove spaces)

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride!

* * *

><p>It was Monday. That alone was enough to make Jasper hate the day, just like every other student pulling into the parking lot. This Monday in particular, however, was going to be worse than the typical one. He just didn't know that.<p>

That was because he didn't know Alice Brandon yet.

He, like everybody else, knew that some transfer students were starting up today. It happened every year though, so the news was not as intriguing as some people made it out to be. It was definitely not as interesting as the gossiping girls they just past were claiming it.

At hearing them already labelling one of the girls the class slut, Emmett was reminded of the prospect of new girls.

He laughed, keeping up his leisurely pace with Jasper. "I am totally going to bag me some fresh meat," he said, rubbing his hands together deviously.

Jasper turned to his friend, not sporting the usual sceptical look that Emmett half expected. "So you and Rose are finally done, huh?"

"Well..." Emmett grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck furiously in discomfort. He winced at the thoughts – the replays of Thursday's break-up - running through his head. "It's complicated."

"How is it complicated?" a voice asked from behind them. It was Edward, and, he too, caught up to them and matched their pace. "You made a joke about her being fat, and she called you a walrus with the I.Q. of a pea and broke up with you."

"You called her fat?" Jasper cried, slowing his pace to allow time to hear the story out.

"It was just a joke..." Emmett mumbled over Edward's laughing.

"What? Are you getting your relationship advice from Edward now?"

Edward scoffed audibly and threw the scrunched up ball of paper he had in his hands at Jasper. "Excuse me, and who is the single one among us?"

"Emmett _and_ I," Jasper clarified, "both _happen_ to be very eligible bachelors enjoying the freedom of life without chains. Right, Emmett?"

"And, we are devilishly handsome," Emmett added using his best polished English accent.

"I suppose _you_ are, in a Picasso sort of way..." Jasper quipped.

Emmett swivelled his head, open-mouthed in mock horror, to look at him and then dove in for the kill, dropping his bag and its contents on the ground. He tried, to no avail despite his string of profanities, to pull Jasper into a headlock while Edward stood back and laughed.

"Anyway," Emmett snapped a few moments later, admitting defeat as Jasper pulled his arm further and further up his back. "I've got a plan to get her back. And it involves her best friend, jealousy."

Jasper dropped Emmett's arm and groaned in unison with Edward. Emmett was just going to dig himself a deeper and deeper grave, the two could see it. And his grave had already passed the centre of the Earth and was three quarters of the way to Australia thanks to his last stunt.

"Don't you two worry those pretty little heads of yours," Emmett replied cockily at hearing their disapproval. "I've got it all worked out. It's simple psychology: we want the things that other people have."

"Well, clearly," Edward remarked, "Since Mike Newton went out with Rose on Friday... I guess that makes her unattainable."

Emmett stopped dead in his tracks, jaw clenched. The other two also stopped and turned back to look at him. "What? That scrawny-ass punk went out with _my_ girl?"

Jasper and Edward knew full well what that face meant and Jasper made a mental note to avoid him at recess so as to miss out on yet another suspension for being involved in a fight.

He didn't need another one this semester.

"I'm gonna whip that kid into shape," Emmett declared and stormed off, pushing past them, into the building.

Edward and Jasper remained, watching him fly up the steps. "Newton didn't really go out with Rose, did he?" Jasper asked, knowing that that wasn't even a remote possibility. Despite what Emmett thought.

Edward shook his head. "Nah. But, Newton was saying some stuff about Bella that I didn't like... So I figured I'd kill one bird with a huge Emmett stone."

Jasper turned to watch Emmett push the entrance doors open dramatically. "Well," he said as Emmett disappeared into the corridor, "mission accomplished."

...

"Jazzy!" Emmett shouted from somewhere in the mass of students plodding their way to the cafeteria. Jasper didn't bother to turn and look for his friend. He knew who it was and that it would be only a matter of seconds before he jumped on his back and tried to put him in another headlock. So, he braced himself instead.

Sure enough, 250 pounds of brawn slammed into his back a moment later and the two of them came crashing to the floor.

Just like last week.

"Look what I've got! Look what I've got!" he cried, waving a certain yellow slip around.

Jasper scrambled to push Emmett off him and then snatched up the little piece of paper. It was clear as to what it was, but he wanted to see the extent of the damage.

"It's a four-day suspension," he simply stated.

"Nah, bro," Emmett corrected, snatching the paper back and standing up. "It's a six-day weekend. This is what you missed out on. Where were you at recess, by the way? Please tell me it was a girl."

Jasper couldn't tell Emmett where he really had been. He couldn't tell anyone. "Detention," he grumbled. It was a very plausible excuse. "Varner."

"Well," Emmett replied. "I guess you were with a girl, just not the sort I had in mind. I didn't know you swung that way."

"Emmett. That's disgusting."

He bellowed his laugh and slapped Jasper across the back. "Let's go and get us some chow. I'm starving."

Jasper just shook his head and followed Emmett's lead as he pushed through the crowd. Emmett's ability to get them to the cafeteria before anything had run out was uncanny.

Well, it wasn't really. It was obvious that he had a magic ability to push everybody out of the way.

"Where's Eddie?" Jasper asked as they entered the lunch area sans an amigo. He pulled out his phone at receiving a message. "Didn't he just have class with you...?"

Emmett grinned. "He's got detention because he – unlike you – came to join the Newton-pulverising party this morning."

Jasper nearly dropped the phone in his hands in shock. "He actually got into a fight?"

"Well... no," Emmett clarified, again needing to set aside his wishful thinking, "he was just a bystander."

Jasper sighed. "We didn't do a very good job training that kid, did we?"

"Pfftt..."

Jasper laughed and went back to typing his text message. He followed Emmett blindly while intently watching the screen, until Emmett stopped abruptly and he walked into him.

"Agh! What the hell, Em?"

Jasper looked up and saw him looking over the sea of people in the direction of Mike Newton. That look said that the worst was over, but there were still some aftershocks to come.

"I've been doing some thinking, Jazz-"

"That's dangerous..."

"Shut up. And since I shall be departing you for the next week, I thought you may want to join me."

Jasper looked at him, stuffing the phone into his pocket. Some time off school didn't sound like a bad idea. "What have you got planned?"

Emmett grinned again and withdrew something from his pocket. A tennis ball. "Your aim is better than mine and I bet that you would probably be able to hit Newton square in the nose from here if you tried."

He stuffed the ball into Jasper's hand without waiting.

Jasper looked down at it, trying to fight temptation. _Get suspended, or not get suspended..._

The knowledge that Emmett was getting a six day weekend and he wasn't was enough to make him give in.

He tossed the ball up and caught it coming down. "You're right – my aim is better than yours."

"I'm just trying to share the love around," Emmett said, assuming Jasper, too, was going to be awarded a long weekend for this.

He watched as Jasper positioned himself, brought the ball back and flung it over the heads of everybody in the cafeteria.

The two watched as the ball flew through the air and then connected with Mike Newton's nose with a loud pop. The ball rebounded off his face and onto the table of some girls nearby. And not just any girls' table, Rosalie's table.

While Emmett doubled over in uncontrollable laughter at his friend's impeccable aim, Jasper ran over to retrieve the evidence before his sneaky cousin, Rosalie, made it worse.

He didn't need his parents to know _precisely_ what it was he got suspended for, evidence and all.

He approached the table where the ball had landed, with the intention of retrieving it, before being sidetracked in watching Newton rush out of the cafeteria with a bloody nose. When he was out of sight, he turned to look at the girls.

"You are such a douche, Jasper," Rosalie seethed. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Jasper ignored her and looked at Bella and their new friend glaring at him for having the ball land in between their lunch trays. "Bella," he greeted with a nod, "New girl." Then he made a move to lean over the table and pick up the ball. But, the new girl snatched it away from his hand before he touched it.

She narrowed her eyes slightly as he gaped at her curiously. Jasper knew what that meant in girl-world: you're in trouble.

"What the hell are you doing, Jazz?" Rosalie cried again at seeing her cousin halt half way leaning across the table.

Jasper straightened up and turned his head to Rosalie. Apparently he wasn't going to get the ball back that easily. "I'm just trying to get suspended here," he explained rationally, as if it were the logical explanation.

She lowered her brow in disapproval and began to shake her head.

"That shouldn't be too hard," the new girl snapped. They all turned to look at her, but she didn't shy away from the attention. "Your intellect should be enough to do the job."

Rosalie and Bella burst out laughing.

Jasper was about to retort when Emmett came bustling over beside him, carrying a tray piled with food. "Ladies," he greeted with a mouth full of bread.

"Heard _you_ got suspended again," Rosalie remarked.

Emmett smiled sarcastically and opened his mouth to begin to defend himself, but Jasper cut in. "I forgot to tell you that Edward completely lied about the whole Newton thing."

Emmett whipped his head around and put the tray down on the table, despite Rosalie's protest. "What you talkin' bout, Jasper?" imitating Gary Coleman in his younger days.

"Newton didn't really go out with Rosie," he explained. "Edward just made shit up because Newton said something he didn't like. You basically did his dirty work for him."

"Where is Edward, by the way?" Bella asked, her ears pricking up at hearing her boyfriend's name spoken.

"Detention," the two of them replied in flat unison.

Jasper turned back to Emmett to continue explaining, but Emmett clearly wasn't interested. His mind was already wandering in the world of his long weekend. "Oh well," he shrugged, taking another bite of his bread roll. "I've got a six-day weekend and he doesn't. I'm livin' la vida loca, baby!"

"Do you even know what that means?" Rosalie asked sceptically.

"I'm living the good life," Emmett replied.

Bella giggled, being the one of the group who studied Spanish. "That's close enough," she offered, smiling politely.

"Thank you, Bella."

Jasper caught the new girl staring at him from the corner of his eye and snapped his attention to her. She didn't look away or pretend that she had only just looked at him.

Her grey eyes seemed to turn to ice as she stared him down.

How dare he, after all, throw a ball at her and her friends and then have the nerve to call her 'new girl'. She would show him that he messed with the wrong girl.

Alice didn't know where all her confidence was coming from, but she liked it. There was no way in hell that she would have done this two weeks ago at her old school, even knowing that she was about to move away forever. She would have died of embarrassment at just the thought. But there was something about this new place... and his smug face... that gave her the feeling that she was in control, which was a pleasant change from drunkard mummy and missing daddy Mississippi had endowed her with.

Above of all, she was finally standing up to herself. Without faltering.

Normally on your first day of school, you would attempt to get along with everybody and prove to the teacher's that you're not an idiot. But, there was this overwhelming desire within her to put this guy, Jasper, in his place before it got out of hand.

She knew his type, they were the same everywhere. And she certainly wouldn't be missing anything by not ever going on a date with him.

That much, she was certain of.

"Keep looking at me like that and I'll know you want me," Jasper almost barked at her.

"Jasper!" Rosalie hissed, ready to come to Alice's defence.

Alice laughed. "Why the hell would I want you?"

"Why are you staring at my pants?"

Emmett inhaled his laugh at the exchange, and, instead, began to choke on his bread. He doubled over momentarily, and the others watched carefully, until his coughing was replaced with fits of laughter. "My boy, Jazzy! Where did you learn to bitch like that?"

Jasper seemed to ignore Emmett, keeping his fiery glare on the girl. "I'm surprised you want to keep a ball that has Newton's blood on it... Are you some sort of vampire or something?"

"Well, if you're so desperate to cover your own tracks, even though there are security cameras in here, then I guess..." she threw the ball at him. He caught it, slightly caught off guard by the force behind it. "Look after it. It is your _only_ one, after all."

The girls all snickered at the joke their new friend had made.

Jasper paused momentarily and looked over at her triumphant grin. He would fix that. "Well, then, in that case," he said, throwing the ball back gently. "You keep it. I've got plenty to go around."

"Well, they must be in your locker because you can't possibly have them on you."

"Oooh!" Emmett interjected, eyeing the distance between the two. This was not the first time he had seen Jasper get into an argument, but it was the first time that he had met his match. And it was entertaining.

Jasper laughed once. "Sweetheart," he informed, crossing his arms. "You're looking straight at them."

"Well, I can't see them behind that tiny zip of yours."

"Oh!" Emmett cried. "Snap!"

Jasper inhaled and decided to take a different approach. "You know what? You're kinda cute," he said, pulling the chair in front of her out to sit on it. "Can I have your number?"

"No way! Jasper, you-" Rosalie was cut off by a confident, "sure," from the girl.

Jasper smiled cockily and poked his tongue out at Rosalie. Then he snapped his expectant head back to the girl.

"1800-bite-me," she said. "What's yours?"

"1800-balls-r-us," he retorted. "Shouldn't be too hard to remember after your stare-fest."

"I didn't ask for the wishful thinking hotline."

Rosalie sniggered appreciatively from the other end of the table and cocked a brow at Jasper when he glared at her.

He got ready to bite back when he was interrupted. "Whitlock!" a man's voice called from the other side of the cafeteria.

Jasper looked over at the voice and found Mr. Varner waiting expectantly by the door.

"Dude..." Emmett said, turning his glance from the teacher to Jasper. "I thought you settled detention with him at recess."

"Ah..." Jasper fumbled, trying to compose his lie. "I... I did."

But everybody heard something was off in his tone.

He gave Alice one last glare as he got up from the chair. Without even saying goodbye to anybody, he walked away in the direction of the teacher calling for him.

It was only when Jasper got half way across the cafeteria that he realised he didn't even know her name.

Emmett watched as his companion left him with the girls, and upon seeing Rosalie throwing daggers at him with her eyes, he decided to take the seat in front of Bella. He slid the tray over and sat down, knowing he had nowhere else to go without Jasper or Edward. He looked at the new girl to avoid another looming argument with his ex-girlfriend.

"I'm Emmett."

"Alice."

"Well, Alice," Emmett said. "You are definitely in for it with my boy Jasper."

"What do you mean _I'm_ in for it?" she asked. "He's in for it!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Just so you know, I am not a Newton hater. By any means. He at least knew when to give up on Mary-Sue Bella. So, I promise to send him some love somewhere in the story.

Maybe.

Uhh, yeah. So that's the first chapter of Alice and Jasper's war. What did you think? All I can say is that there are still 2 classes to go before the end of school... anything could happen...

Thanks for reading!


	2. Psychology

Thanks for all your encouraging reviews! You guys rock! Enjoy the chapter :)

* * *

><p>"So, aside from that little mishap at lunch," Bella began, "has your first day been alright?"<p>

She and Alice where making their way to their Psychology class, walking casually with their books in hand. Bella was silently praying that class was going to be okay, knowing that it could potentially become a disaster given what happened at lunch.

"Yeah..." Alice replied, pulling her books closer to her chest. "It's been fine."

Really, that meant she couldn't remember. In her mind, there was only one significant thing that had happened today: the arrogant Jasper.

Her stomach did flip flops when she thought about the fight she had picked. She had been the one to start it, and so that meant that the next time she saw him, she would have to have some sort of smart-ass remark about him ready.

She knew she was in over her head; she had never been one to do this before, and it appeared that he was very well practiced in the world of fighting. She, believe it or not, was not.

She tried not to shake her head dismally. Of all people she could have fought with, it had to be him. Why did she choose someone who could out-quip her in their sleep?

Moreover, she didn't even really know why she had said the things she did. Granted, he had practically thrown a ball in her lunch and then 'forgot' to apologise, but that was not the worst thing that could have happened. It wasn't as if he pulled down her skirt or broke her nose...

Yet, still, Alice could not bring herself to even think of making amends. Since it was only her first day, doing that would make her look like an idiot and she knew that that would just result in more attacks, be tame or not. No. Her pride would not allow her to give up so early in the game.

"Well, you'll like Psych," Bella assured her, hearing the lie in her friend's tone. "The subject is pretty easy."

Alice nodded. "Yeah, I'm kind of looking forward to it," she chirped, fighting away the dismal replays of her first day. "A subject I'm actually interested in..."

Bella laughed nervously and gestured to a door they were approaching. "Yep... it'll be... _good_..."

She pulled the door open and held it for Alice, giving an encouraging smile as her new friend walked through the door.

Alice did a quick inspection of the room as she stepped over the threshold, recognising a few faces from her classes earlier in the day as she did. Her eyes then landed on the teacher who was waiting expectantly for her, and so she made her way over with every new student's necessary papers.

The teacher greeted Alice by name like how the rest of her teachers had - being such a small school, everybody knew who she was before the day had even started. By third period, Alice had learned to accept that this was so and took to just owning the fact that she was new, instead of blushing and almost stuttering in front of the whole class.

The teacher smiled and handed back the slip. She introduced herself as Miss S, and suggested Alice take a seat next to Bella since she had noticed the two had come to class together.

Naturally, Alice was not going to argue with that and she skipped over to her bench as the final bell rang.

A few students raced through the door just as Miss S made her way over to shut it, giving her a sheepish smile as she rolled her eyes playfully. To each one of them, she simply said "take a seat," and nothing more.

At her old school, no teacher would have been that nice. In fact, if you were more than about ten seconds late to class, it automatically qualified you for detention.

The last person to walk in late through the door was Emmett, carrying only the basic necessities – a single pen, and a writing book - to class.

Alice watched him bundle past the benches hastily and sit in the empty one in front of them.

"You've got a few minutes to get set up and chat amongst yourselves while I begin writing up some notes," Miss S said out into her sea of students, digging into her pencil case for a whiteboard marker.

Emmett turned around in his seat. "Ladies," he greeted with a grin.

"Long time no see, Em," Bella smiled, pulling some blank sheets of paper out of her folder.

"Yeah..." he laughed. "Fall over between here and the cafeteria?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Not this time."

"Oh, well, I didn't miss anything then." He smiled comically, and then looked quizzically at the empty seat next to him. "Have you seen my boy?" he asked Bella, oblivious to Miss S making her way down the aisle of benches to talk to him. "That damn cowboy had better not be skipping without me."

Bella pouted her lips in a negative and shook her head. Just as Alice was about to ask who they were referring to, the teacher interjected into their conversation.

"Mister McCarty," she addressed, coming to a stop next to Emmett.

He turned and looked at her. "Yes?"

"Since I understand that you will not be attending the rest of my classes this week, here is the assignment I'm going to hand out. It's based on the rest of the learning chapter. I'm going to cover the basics today, and delve into the specifics during the week. That means that you will have to read the book yourself..."

"Dang..." Emmett said.

Miss S smiled knowingly. "Just be careful reading about the Operant Conditioning stuff – it can get a bit confusing."

"Mental note made!"

"Yes... You will hand it in on Monday's class-" Emmett opened his mouth to argue, but she continued on, "-just like everybody else."

What was going to be a long weekend suddenly was turning into a homework fest in Emmett's eyes. And he didn't like it. Not one bit. Especially since it was the third subject to have given him extra work for the week. "But what if I don't understand the book and the notes... and... stuff...?"

"You have the school's number," Miss S replied confidently, despite being only an inch or two taller than Alice, "and you have my email address. I would be happy to help you via correspondence if you need it."

Emmett reluctantly stuck out his hand to retrieve the assignment sheet and huffed out as he looked at the list of things he would need to do.

"Thanks, Miss."

"Cheer up," she said, beginning to turn her body away. "You got an extra 30 minutes over everyone else."

And with that, she headed back to the front of the room.

Emmett grumbled, turning in his seat back around to us. "You should see how much extra shit I have to do this week..."

"What does it matter to you?" Bella quipped. "You never do it anyway..."

"But that's not the point!" he said, folding the paper carelessly in half. "It's the principal of it!"

"I'm sure it is, Em."

He just nodded his head and sighed miserably. Then he caught sight of Alice sitting silently next to Bella. "What's wrong, Alice? Need my boy Jazzy to get you fired up?"

"Oh no..." she replied, shaking her head. "Don't even get me started on that..."

She would have preferred to not have been reminded of it, really. Him mentioning it just told her that people will remember her and Jasper's bickering session and that there thus would be a need to uphold the rivalry in the future.

She didn't know if she had the stamina for that.

Emmett just chuckled lightly. "You two were pretty good at lunch. I don't think I've seen him lost for words before..."

Alice almost scowled to herself. She had to pick a fight with someone who was very good at it, didn't she? "Well..." she began, reminding herself of the smugness that seemed to radiate off him. "He deserved it..."

"Questioning his manhood?"

"I'd hardly call him a man..."

Emmett cracked up laughing, disrupting the hum of quiet conversations around them.

Miss S turned around from writing on the board and looked at Emmett cackling to himself. "Emmett, good joke? Care to share?"

He turned around and smiled at her. "Yes, and no."

"Very well," she replied, placing the cap on her marker. "Everybody turn to the front now, please."

Miss S then began to explain the basics of learning as a topic in psychology, in quite good detail, Alice decided. She was already learning more about a subject she had already done.

Mid-sentence, there was a knock on the door. Miss S didn't stop and grumble about the interruption, as most teachers would have, she instead continued to speak to the class and walked over to the door and opened it up.

Someone was on the other side, Alice could see the edge of an arm from where she sat, but they didn't come in immediately. Miss S simply stood aside and pulled the door wider. "It's alright," she said with a smile. "I know. Take a seat."

And who was it that walked in late? None other than the one and only up-himself Jasper.

Alice snapped the pencil in her grip in surprise. _Of all the people..._

"Jazzy!" Emmett cried from across the quiet room.

"Emmett," the teacher said, not at all angry at his outburst, "Settle down."

Jasper ducked past Miss S and stepped into the room, catching sight of Alice immediately as he did his usual once-over of the room. Whether or not that was a positive thing or not, he didn't know. Hell, he knew it wasn't positive. But, he knew from experience that negatives could be fun. It was clear this girl had it out for him and he had never been one to turn down a challenge.

Alice also did a quick inspection of the room, and with a sinking stomach, realised that the only spare seat in the room was in front of her.

Brilliant.

"Dude," Emmett hissed quietly as Jasper casually took his usual seat next to him. "Where have you been?"

Jasper just rolled his eyes amusedly, laughed silently, and turned to listen to Miss S briefly explaining the concept of classical conditioning up the front of the room.

Alice, on the other hand, could not focus on anything else other than the mess of blonde hair in front of her. While it was true that she was fighting nausea at the thought of having to continuously fight with this guy for pride's sake, she was also beginning to remember why she chose to bark at him in the first place. Why did he have to be so damn arrogant? He practically exuded it. Her nausea was quickly overcome with the urge to stab his face with her broken pencil for sitting so smugly. That's right, he was sitting smugly.

He started to fidget in front of her then, digging into the slouch bag he had had over his shoulder when he arrived. She tilted her head discreetly to see what he was doing. At her old school, boys doing that would most likely have pulled out a straw for a spit bomb or a set of indoor firecrackers. Like a hawk, she watched him withdraw something small from his bag and, just when she was about slip forward in her seat to see what it was, he slipped on a pair of sleek, black rimmed glasses.

Emmett chuckled next to him. "Four eyes."

"And yet it's something else that I have two more of than you," Jasper replied.

That comment alone was enough to make Alice agitated. Why? She had no idea. But it did, and there was no avoiding it.

She sat gritting her teeth as she watched him scribble down notes from the board, pretending to be a good student, and almost forgot to write them down herself in the process. When she realised that she hadn't been paying any attention to the one class she sort of looked forward to, she turned to her notes and began furiously copying down the information from the board.

She heard the class begin to hum in private conversations around her as Miss S left them to their own devices and set a task to work at their own pace.

All of a sudden, she heard a male voice sound very close to her head, and she assumed its dialogue was directed at her.

"Jasper," the voice said.

She stopped writing and slowly lifted her head to look quizzically at the blonde _boy_ in front of her.

"I'm not Jasper," she quipped, critically dipping her eyes to his outstretched, peace-offering hand.

"No, I'm Jasper," he rephrased. "And you are...?"

"Bite me."

"Tragic..." he replied, dropping his hand. "Did your parents run out of ideas for names?"

She scoffed. "It's better than being named after a _rock_."

Jasper smiled, amused that the girl actually knew what Jasper – the stone - was. "I like to think it's descriptive," he offered, "in more ways than one."

"You know," Alice countered, crossing her arms defiantly. "There's a line between being optimistic and being delusional. And apparently you crossed it miles ago."

He sucked in a breath. "Ouch," he mocked, sitting up straighter in his seat so as to move an inch or two away from her. "So tell me, _Bite Me_, did I do something to cause that little episode at lunch?

"What? You've never had someone tell you how big of an idiot you are?"

"On the contrary. I'm told it many times a day, but not by people who don't know me. Which is why I want to know what I did so I can at least begin to defend myself."

"Alright, kiddies..." Emmett interjected, waving a hand in the space between the two. "I think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot here..."

"Yeah," Bella added, looking up from her work. "Play nice, Jasper."

"Me? Why are you sticking up for _her_?"

"We're friends," Bella defended, putting her pen down. "You do the same thing for Emmett every day."

"Huh?"

"Friends," Alice almost spat. "You know... if you look it up in the dictionary, it's after _foe_ and before _fuck_. Two new words for you that might be helpful to know in life. Especially the last one if you ever want to get a boyfriend. Oops. I mean girlfriend." She gave him a critical once over. "Easy mistake."

Emmett guffawed and then slapped a hand over his mouth to stop the laughter.

Jasper looked at her with wide eyes, unsure what to make of what she had just said. "You can't... tell the difference between a gay guy and a straight one...?"

Alice chose to let that one slide, since it was only a pin prick to her ego when she had dumped a tonne of bricks on his. And, instead, she decided to take their 'conversation' down another route, just as he had at lunch.

"Are you familiar with Freud?" she asked, folding her hands in mock interest under her chin.

He cocked a brow. "Why do you ask?"

"He has some interesting ideas on male preoccupation and it's good to know where your personal insecurities come from. You seem to make a lot of references to balls, and they say that people are usually most occupied by the things they don't have."

"Freud was just making excuses for being in love with his mother," Jasper remarked with the wave of his hand dismissively. "I don't follow psychotic theories, which is why I'm not going to listen to you."

"PSYCHOTIC?" Alice shrieked, not remembering that she was inside, in a class.

"Miss Brandon, and... _Mister Whitlock_... Surprise," Miss S called out from the front of the room, raising a brow at the two of them. "What is going on back there?"

"He called me _psychotic_!" Alice called back defensively.

Jasper turned to the front. "I called _Freud_ psychotic. I can't help that she thinks she is him."

The class giggled lightly.

Miss S sighed and propped herself up against the back of her chair. "As much as I appreciate you talking about Psychology in this class, we're not doing Freudian theories until next semester," she said aloud. "So, please, no more outbursts, and keep those opinionated thoughts for next semester. Now get back to work. Both of you."

Jasper didn't turn back around to give her a scathing look, nor did he say anything more. He just simply pulled his chair in further, picked up a pen, and began answering the questions from the book.

How could he even think that that made him look studious? He went from class clown, to eager student in a matter of seconds, and he thought that made him top dog?

Well, dog it may have made him, but certainly not a _top_ one. She started to imagine his cut-out head on a tiny Chihuahua's body, pink tutu and all, and giggled at the thought.

"What's so funny?" Bella whispered, looking at her through her long hair.

"Nothing," Alice replied, turning her eyes to her book.

After ten minutes of stewing silently at what had just transpired -and _pretending_ that she was reading- she began to feel a familiar feeling of guilt rise up in her stomach.

That was the last opportunity to end _the conflict_ before it even got started. Now there was really no going back. She had to engage in a war with him.

She let herself dabble in her wistful thoughts for a further ten minutes, and had to stop herself when she felt her face getting hot from the reminder of being well outside of her comfort zone.

How tiresome. Aren't new schools supposed to take all this drama away?

Suddenly, Jasper swivelled back around in his chair.

"Bella," he said. "Did Rosie say anything about coming over to my place tonight...?"

"Uhh..." Bella thought aloud. "No... She did say something about wanting to cut your brakes or something, but I think she's forgotten about that... She's just more mad at Edward for implying that she went out on a date with Mike..."

Jasper coughed nervously. "You're driving home, Em."

"No way, bro," he said, putting his pen down and turning around to join in. "She really would cut the brakes if she found out _I_ was driving..."

"You're probably right..." Jasper mumbled.

The three of them continued to engage in a general conversation about this and that, while Alice chose to stay out of it. She could tell that they were all fairly good friends, because they talked like it. Much to her horror and dismay that Bella would be friends with such a tutu wearing Chihuahua as Jasper, she couldn't deny that they all got along.

That should have been incentive to at least try to tolerate Jasper, and she desperately wanted to, despite what her uncontrolled outward actions showed, but there was just something that sparked up inside her every time he even glanced in her direction. That something was irritation.

She tried to put all her energy into answering the homework questions in front of her, but the topic did not call for much of her brain power, and so she used a portion of it to listen in on the conversation.

Just as Alice was crossing the final t on her last answer, the bell rang. Everybody began scrambling to collect up their books while Miss S called over them and reminded everyone to take an assignment sheet before leaving.

"What's your next class?" Bella asked politely, stacking up her books into a pile.

Alice didn't need to dive for her timetable to know – she made sure to memorise the rest of it at lunch when no one was looking. "Italian," she replied, picking up her books from the desk.

Bella froze for a moment and then breathed out. She continued to pile her books. "I have biology," she said slowly, carefully not looking Alice in the eye, "and it's on the opposite side of campus... So I can't show you were to go... But..." she trailed off. "You... could follow... _Jasper_..."

"What?" Alice blurted, wide eyed. "Please don't tell me I have class with him now..."

Bella shrugged and smiled sympathetically. "Maybe he'll skip...?"

Alice sighed and lowered her head. "Great," she mumbled.

"Jasper!" Bella called, looking back over her shoulder at Alice, who was ready to die of embarrassment.

Jasper stopped walking away with Emmett and turned back to look at the girls.

"Can you take Alice to her next class? Italian."

He inhaled, clearly unimpressed, when he just shrugged. "Sure."

Alice would have objected immediately, and insisted on finding the room herself, when Bella explained that the room was difficult to find, and she was unlikely to discover it on her own.

"Ladies first," Jasper offered, gesturing to the space in front of him.

Forgetting that she wanted to make peace with him, she bit back at his '_kindness_'. "Well, what are _you_ waiting for?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Hehe... so what did you think? Are Alice and Jasper headed for WW3 or what? Let me know what you think, because reviews generally inspire me to write quicker :D

Thanks!


	3. Firsts

**A/N:** Hi guys! Just a quick note to let you know that _Pushing Buttons_ has been nominated at the Sunflower Awards for Best Humor story, Best Quote, and Best Banner, so if you've got a moment head over and vote. I have some other stories that have been nominated as well, and voting closes May 25! Thanks to whomever it was that nominated me – you made my week!

Happy reading!

* * *

><p>Alice dumped her bag by the front door, not wanting to even contemplate the extra work that awaited her. As her books collided with the floor, the tennis ball from lunch fell out and rolled further into the room. She looked at it come to a halt on an uneven floorboard, and just shook her head.<p>

She wasn't going to ruin her adequate day at school with thoughts of what transpired at lunch.

Instead, she looked around the apartment. Her bedroom door was shut, just like how she left it, and her sweater she'd discarded last minute this morning was still slung over the back of the couch. The predictability was a welcome change for her and she smiled at the emptiness in front of her.

She had thought that when she moved away from her parents that it would take some time to adjust and that strange feelings of homesickness would arise, but that was yet to happen. For now, she was happy with her small, empty apartment and was content to let it stay that way.

It was home, after all.

With a long breath out, she made her way over to the couch. The noise as she walked over the floorboards reverberated off the plain white walls and did nothing to hide the fact that the whole place was literally empty.

The only piece of furniture to be seen was a black couch in the middle of the room. It was clear from the blankets, and the pillow, left from this morning that it also doubled as a bed. Alice toyed with a loose thread on the edge of the quilt as she looked around the apartment. She knew that she would have to invest in some more furniture soon, but it was going to have to wait until she started working.

As she stared back at the kitchen, she decided that a fridge was probably a good idea. Since she had been saving up to buy a car before she left home, she had some money up her sleeve. It would be enough to buy her a fridge, some curtains, and possibly even a mattress, but she wasn't sure that her job as a shop assistant would help pay for the bills the fridge would cost. So, she decided, the bed would have to wait and the remaining money would go towards paying for electricity.

The rent, she had thought, was going to be the biggest issue, but it turned out that the payout agreement with her parents was enough to cover it and her food for the week. If she was careful, she would even have some left over to put towards a TV or some new clothes in the long run.

She sat down, bouncing her head gently to a song playing in her mind, and pushed her heel down on a floorboard. It popped up and she bent down to retrieve her laptop hidden underneath.

It hummed to life as she lifted the lid up, and she noted that there was less than 50 percent of her battery left. That meant it needed charging. So, she pulled her phone out from her pocket to set a reminder about charging it while she did her homework, and found that it too would need charging.

She sighed and wondered idly how much her electricity bill would be this month.

After pushing a few buttons blindly, she set the reminder on her phone, and went back to looking at her laptop.

Her email inbox was already open from yesterday as she'd waited for a response to some work applications, and her heart increased when she saw there was an unread message.

In the split moment it took her to open it, she fantasised about working in a designer boutique, dressed elegantly in only the season's latest trends and greeting well-to-do socialites. But, when she saw who the message was from and what the subject was, her shoulders dropped slightly.

It was an email from Emmett. He, according to the email, was hosting a party this Friday.

How he had gotten hold of her email address, Alice didn't know, but she was impressed to think that she had been at school one day and already had scored herself a party invite. That was already a vast improvement from her old school.

A party sounded like fun to her.

Meanwhile, Jasper was also contemplating the party, though he did not share the same enthusiasm as Alice.

"A party?" He asked incredulously into the phone's receiver. "What for? Celebrating the end of your third suspension for the semester?"

"_Fifth,_" Emmett's voice corrected from the other end.

"Whatever."

"_And no. Do I need a reason to have a party?_"

Jasper knocked his Psychology textbook off the desk and it landed on his foot. He cursed, kicked the lump of glossy paper, and then turned back to the conversation. "It's usually a good idea if you want to avoid a raid like last time. Besides, Rose doesn't show up to parties without a purpose."

"_You think this is some sort of plot to get Rose back?_"

Jasper clucked his tongue as he thought over his assumption. A split second later, he replied with a confident "yes."

"_Who says I want her there?_"

"Em," Jasper said, switching the phone to his other shoulder as he moved some piles of paper around on his desk. "I'm not blind. I saw you two at lunch."

"_Really?_" Emmett quipped. "_I thought you were too busy hitting on your new girl to notice._"

"No, I was definitely not too busy," he said, rolling his eyes. "What was her problem, anyway?"

"_She likes you._"

"We're not in kindergarten."

Emmett almost howled and then laughed boisterously. "_Speak of the devil..._"

Jasper paused his re-ordering of homework papers. "Huh?"

"_I just got a reply from her – she's coming to my partay. Does that mean you're in too?_"

"Hell. No."

"_Aw, come on!_" Emmett pleaded. "_You have to come. Otherwise I might have to spend all night talking to Edward... I like the kid and all, but a whole night with him and Bella? I can't do it!_"

Jasper laughed, shaking his head. "I'll think about it."

"_That means yes._"

...

The next day, Alice found herself surrounded by more people coming and re-introducing themselves than she would ever have predicted. Between her fourth period class, and the cafeteria, she had already encountered and ended a conversation with Mike Newton and begun another Eric.

He was talking to her about the school newspaper, claiming he heard through the grapevine that she was interested in fashion, and that maybe a style column would be a great addition to their fortnightly publication.

"No pressure or anything," Eric said, holding the cafeteria door open for Alice as she stepped through. "But is it something you might be interested in?"

She smiled politely and shrugged gently, not used to having so much positive attention. "Uh... Sure. Maybe once I kind of get settled in here and stuff, and then I'll think-" She stopped short when someone nudged her shoulder with their arm.

After a second, she decided that someone may have just accidentally knocked her as they brushed past, but then Jasper appeared beside her and she knew instantly that it was not a coincidence.

"How's it going, _Bite Me_?" he grinned.

Alice tried her best to scowl at him without scaring Eric off, but she could already feel her sense of civility slipping out of her grasp from just looking at his childish smirk.

"_Bite me_?" Eric laughed, looking nervously at the very small space between the two.

"Well, she wouldn't tell me what her name was," Jasper replied nonchalantly. Then he looked down and saw Alice holding one of her notebooks. As she deliberately turned her head away from him to continue responding to Eric's question about the school newspaper, Jasper snatched the book out of her hands.

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed.

He just nodded, reading the cover of her book. "Ah, so it's _Alice_..." he peered down at her reaching for the book and cocked a brow. "Can I call you Mad Hatter?"

She stopped lunging for the book and rolled her eyes. The _Alice in Wonderland_ nicknames were not new to her. "No, you can't."

"Tweedledee?"

"No."

"Tweedledum?"

"No."

"Tweedle_dumber_?"

"No!"

Jasper chuckled, and let her snatch the book violently from his grasp. "Take a chill pill," he said, smiling at the scowl that was on her face.

Her chin jutted out defensively and with an exaggerated breath in, she turned back to Eric.

He looked more than slightly uncomfortable, having witnessed the exchange between the two, and smiled back tightly as she made an attempt to ignore Jasper. "I'll let you know about the newspaper," she said. "But, it sounds like fun."

Eric nodded stiffly, flickering his eyes to Jasper discreetly, and then made up a flimsy, spur of the moment excuse to leave. Without even waiting for a reply, he spun around and rushed out the door.

Alice could tell from Eric's sudden nervousness that he was intimidated by something. Naturally, her thoughts went to Jasper and she assumed that he had made faces – or gestures - at Eric behind her line of vision. The thought alone had her seeing red.

Would he get away with interfering with her social life, and possibly ruining a chance at being asked on a date? The question scarcely needed to be answered.

The possibilities of what she could do to him began running through Alice's head: a bottle of water over his head, a nasty article about him in the newspaper, a tennis ball to the nose...

"Strange kid," Jasper said all of a sudden, looking at the door Eric had just left through. Then, without even paying attention to the livid expression on Alice's face as she glared at him, he turned and made his way over towards the tables.

She would have left it at that – at least until their next class – had he not decided to make his way over to her table where Rose and Bella were already sitting. Instead, she also headed for the table, forgetting about collecting any sort of food for lunch.

Before Jasper had even sat down at the table, Rosalie was jumping down his throat.

"I have a problem with you," she declared as he pulled out a chair.

"Hello to you too, Rose," he replied.

"What is this business I hear about you getting a 98 in Chemistry?"

Jasper paused in his movements, eyes wide. "How do you know about that?"

"Please," she dismissed. "Everybody is talking about it. You know that when you cheat, you're supposed to make the grade realistic, right?"

"I didn't cheat!" he automatically defended. When he realised that his comment sounded a little too genuine, he backed up and put on a small smile for show. "Well, not this time, anyway."

Rosalie snorted. "Get over yourself, Jazz."

Out of the two of them, it appeared to everyone that Rosalie was the smart one in the family and received what should have been Jasper's portion of intelligence. It was no secret that she was one of the few students still in line to be valedictorian at graduation, but Jasper thought that she kind of let that fact get to her head sometimes.

He just rolled his eyes and sat down opposite his cousin, turning to pull out a textbook from his bag beside him.

When he looked up from his book, he saw Alice coming to sit next to Bella.

"Decided to join us, _Mad Hatter_?"

"That's really funny..." she said sarcastically. "Don't you have some sort of detention to go to...?

Jasper shook his head. "Nope," he declared. "Not today."

"I thought you had detention after your stunt in Italian yesterday."

Rose groaned, turning her head from Alice to Jasper. "What did you do this time?"

Jasper laughed to himself as he remembered the events of his last class yesterday. "I did not accidentally knowingly call the Italian teacher a cow in Italian."

"You idiot."

He shook his head. "It wasn't my fault!"

"Bull, it's wasn't," Rose quipped, leaning slightly over the table towards him.

"I didn't know," he explained, turning back to the open book in front of him, "that the word for cow was _mucca_."

"As if you didn't know - you're better at Italian than me."

"Rose, a _mucca_ is better at Italian than you."

At that moment, Jasper's phone began vibrating on the table in front of him. He casually unlocked it and began scrolling through what Alice assumed was a message.

She watched him carefully as his facial expression dropped from carefree to slightly sick over the course of a few seconds. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that Bella and Rose were only paying attention to one another, and so that gave her licence to watch him and his change of moods.

His eyes scanned the screen, rolling from left to right repeatedly over the words, and she could swear that she saw his jaw clench.

Of course, when Alice realised that she was paying so much attention to the one person she disliked more than neon clothing, she changed her tune.

She decided that, whatever it was, he deserved it and more.

Then she changed her mind again and decided that that was pretty harsh – even if she had thought it about Jasper. There was something very suddenly vulnerable in his face that made her rethink wanting to take him down a few notches today.

In a way, she almost felt guilty for even contemplating something horrible happening to him as she watched scroll feverishly back through the message. Something wasn't quite right, whether she thought he'd earned it or not.

"So..." Rose began, pulling the bread in her fingers to pieces. "How come you didn't get busted for breaking Newton's nose?"

"A, I did not break his nose," Jasper replied instantly, slipping the phone off the table and into his pocket, "and B, apparently he didn't squeal."

"Lucky you. You can't afford anymore suspensions."

He grunted absentmindedly in response as he threw his textbook back into his bag. It was only as he stood up and fished his keys out of his pocket that it was apparent he was leaving.

"Where are you going, Jazz?" Bella asked as he pushed in his chair.

"Home..."

"Why?"

"I can't be bothered staying," he said, walking away.


	4. Shots

**A/N: Gosh, it's been a while, hasn't it? I just hit one of those moments in the story where you don't want to undo what you've written, but you've got no idea how to continue it. So the story lay dormant for a while. It was always in my mind, though, because I have such a blast writing this story. I'm glad to be getting back in the saddle and am hoping this chapter gets me out of my rut.**

**Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and choosing to continue reading _Pushing Buttons_. I hope that now I've passed this particular writing block, the words will come more freely and frequently.**

**Here's to hoping! Enjoy the next chapter.**

* * *

><p>By the end of the week, Alice had bought herself a fridge and some saucepans, and her outlook on everything was suddenly becoming peachier. She wondered whether it had something to do with the fact that she was now eating wholesome meals at home and no longer had to rely on cafeteria food for her nutrients.<p>

It seemed reasonable to think so.

She began mentally preparing dinner for the evening when she remembered that she had agreed to attend Emmett's party that evening. Though she was excited to go to her first proper _foot-prints-on-the-wall-and-DJ-is-passed-out_ high school party, the novelty of home cooked meals was tempting enough to want to make her bail out last minute with a "sore throat".

She knew that she wouldn't bail out of fear of social rejection, but it was tempting nonetheless.

There was also one other reason why she didn't want to go the party, though she didn't really want to remind herself of it. She had overheard Bella and Jasper discussing the gathering during Psychology yesterday. Every time she thought about him being present at the party, her stomach sank painfully lower and lower.

Since she and Jasper had begun their war at the beginning of the week, she had been trying to dig up any dirt she could about him. Unfortunately, the dirt uncovered was mostly a repertoire of past pranks. It was rumoured that he and Emmett had once put a live bat in someone's locker which resulted in one of a series of suspensions. The stories didn't stop there, either.

Pranks ranged from cutting the electricity main off, to locking all the toilet cubicles from the inside, and even super-gluing doors shut.

The bat story worried her the most, and so, before opening her locker, she took a step back to allow room for any unwanted animals to make an escape.

She leaned forward slightly and turned the combination this way and that, stopping at all the correct numbers. When it didn't respond, she threw a fist into the locker door. It clicked open, as to be expected. What she wasn't prepared for was the sea of tennis balls that came gushing out, dropping onto her feet.

They scattered to the furthest corners of the hallway, bouncing with an iconic pop against the cheap linoleum floor. She didn't even have to read the post-it note left on the inside of the door to know who was responsible.

'_**Jasper woz 'ere'**_

As if on cue, he appeared out of nowhere and casually came over. He leaned against the wall of lockers before Alice took any proper notice of him.

"Enough balls for you?" he asked, smirking at the last few that Alice swept out of the corners with her hand.

She ripped the post-it note off the door and slammed it shut for emphasis. "Is that the best you can do?"

"Not even close," he replied. "I am just testing you."

"_Testing me_?"

Jasper nodded once. "I need to know how much you can handle before I start planning my attack."

_Attack._

_Don't buckle, Alice. Don't let him get to you. He's only teasing._

At her old school, Alice had been the victim of many unprovoked attacks by random popular girls. The experience hadn't taught her much, except that she was weak whenever the slightest notion of trouble appeared. She had never been one to retaliate because she didn't have the sharp mind or the courage to.

Instead, she had learned to submit and brush off the verbal beatings of bullies.

Attack was a dirty word that stirred many emotions in her.

She fought the innate urge to shake in irrational fear. She folded her arms to conceal any possible nervousness that would betray her. "You're going to _attack_ me?"

He winced playfully. "_Attack_ maybe isn't the best word... _Defend_ is probably a better one. Seeing as you jumped me first, I am simply defending myself."

Alice's heart sank. That, to her, confirmed her suspicions that she was going to lose the war to Jasper. She wanted to sigh and just admit defeat right then and there, to just tell him he'd won and ask him not to take it further. It was definitely not the most appealing option at the time, but she knew it would yield the best outcome in the long run.

"What's with the face, Mad Hatter?" he smirked.

She turned to him and all her insecurities disappeared.

She would not admit defeat, not to that smug dog.

"Just wondering when you're going to fix that, is all," she replied, gesturing towards his face with her hand.

His brow sunk quizzically and he instinctively ran a hand over his face to see what she was talking about. Noticing the hint of a smile playing on her lips, he dropped his arm slowly.

"You can do better than that, Tweedledee."

She didn't know whether to acknowledge his moment of defeat with a smile or not. Would that be a sign of weakness, being so eager to score another point in their game?

Luckily, she was saved from responding.

"_Whitlock!_"

Jasper lowered his shoulders and sighed dramatically at hearing someone boom his name from down the hall. He turned around to face the teacher that demanded his attention.

Miss Neville came striding over, her sports whistle hanging around her neck in typical P.E. teacher fashion. "I don't suppose you have anything to do with all these tennis balls, do you?" she asked in her deep voice, coming to a halt in front of the two.

Jasper shook his head innocently. Then he pointed casually at Alice. "They came out of _her_ locker..."

Alice unfolded her arms, quelling the urge to push him to the ground like an angry four year old. She handed over his 'calling card' post-it note. He groaned in defeat.

Miss Neville quickly read over the three words and shook her head.

Jasper just laughed quietly at her expression. "I've got to stop being so chivalrous..."

The teacher clucked her tongue, looking at the note again. "And I don't suppose that these are the missing tennis balls from the P.E. storage shed?"

He didn't respond.

"How did you even get in there? It was locked..."

"The same way I got into her locker," he replied, grinning impishly.

Miss Neville shook her head. "I don't want to know. Just pick them up, put them back, and nobody needs to know. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good. You have until the end of lunch break to get them back."

As she walked away, Alice turned back to Jasper. She caught him eyeing the flood of neon green balls around them, unimpressed by the mess.

Having wanted to beat him while he was down all week, Alice smirked at the opportunity. "Have fun picking those up."

He groaned slightly, looking this way and that at where he would need to begin collecting balls. As he happened to pass his line of vision over Alice, he spied something that made his face light up with encouragement. He looked down at Alice mischievously. "Three shots says that I can get all of these balls back into the shed without having to pick any of them up..."

Alice blinked, taken aback by what he was saying. "What?"

"Tonight. You have to do three shots if I can get all of these cleaned up without doing it myself."

She folded her arms. Even though she had never done a shot before, and the prospect of it made her nervous, she was pretty confident she could win the bet. "What's in it for me?"

"If I have to pick them up, I'll do the shots."

"Three shots is hardly a big deal for you..."

"You're right. I'll do six. I _am_ twice your size _after all_..."

She let that comment about her stature and his size slide. "Deal."

"Deal," he smiled back. He flicked his attention back over her shoulder. "Em!" he yelled, motioning someone over.

Alice spun around on her heel to see who Jasper was calling out to. She saw Emmett jogging towards them, a huge puppy-dog smile plastered across his face.

"Emmett?" Alice asked as he got closer. "What are you doing here? Aren't you suspended?"

He shrugged. "I got bored at home without my Jazzy."

"Aww..." Alice cooed, looking over her shoulder back at Jasper. "How sweet."

Jasper shot her a sarcastic look. "Emmett, I'm having a thought," he said seriously.

"Oh, yeah?" Emmett replied.

"These balls, Newton, parking lot," Jasper listed cryptically.

Emmett nodded slowly. "I like the way you think. Any particular reason?"

Jasper shrugged nonchalantly in response, and bent over to pick up two empty buckets sitting by the lockers. "He's doing my cousin." Meaning Rosalie.

Emmett's eyes turned to fire, just how Jasper predicted they would.

Jasper pushed past Alice and swung an arm over Emmett's shoulders. "Let's pick these up," he said, handing the buckets to Emmett, "and we can ambush him on the way to class."

"Okay!"

Jasper stood back and watched Emmett scramble to pick up all the balls. Alice watched him in disgust.

"Isn't he supposed to be your best friend?" she spat at Jasper.

"Yeah. And?"

"You're disgusting."

He winked cockily at her. "Em! You missed some behind the water fountain!"

The two watched as Emmett practically crawled a little further from them, sweeping up balls left and right. When his back was towards them, Jasper abruptly turned around and put his arms on either side of Alice, trapping her against the lockers. The way she often saw the football players stand with their girlfriends.

If anyone else had done it, she would have been concerned for her safety. Even in a crowded hallway. But, she could see in his grey eyes that he was harmless and was just doing it to grab her attention.

Really, he enjoyed being close to her.

She stayed put to see what he had to say.

"Three shots," he said. "I'll be counting."

"Don't get too excited," she almost laughed. "He hasn't got them all yet."

"Three shots," Jasper repeated confidently.

She scoffed, as if to tell him that it was no big deal.

Internally, though, she was trying to remember everything she had been taught in health class about alcohol. Would three shots be enough to get her extremely drunk? Or would it barely make a dint? She mentally chastised herself for not having experimented with alcohol before.

He narrowed his eyes, almost as if he was reading her thoughts. "You really don't like me, do you?"

"Not really."

He looked very pleased with that answer. "Why?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"Yes."

She stared at him for a moment. "You irritate me."

"Feeling is mutual," he said before Emmett came bustling over with a bucket full of tennis balls.

"You think this will be enough?" he asked, offering the bucket to Jasper.

Jasper looked down at it, noting a whole bucket worth of balls still needed to be picked up. "The more balls, the more times Newton gets hit."

Emmett looked at the intimate position the two of them were in with cat-like eyes. He nodded and nudged Jasper's shoulder knowingly with a smile. "You're right - we need _all _of them. I'll give you two some privacy."

At hearing such an implication, Alice placed both her hands on Jasper's chest and shoved him away violently. The force caught him off guard, and he stumbled backwards clumsily.

"No need," she said, dusting her hands off dramatically. She marched off without another word, forgetting about the books she needed to collect from her locker for the sake of her pride.

Emmett just stared after her, waiting until Jasper moved to stand beside him. "She wants you. _Bad._"

... ...

In typical teenage girl fashion, Alice spent the time between the end of school and the party trying on every piece of clothing and jewellery she owned to find the most suitable outfit.

In typical teenage guy fashion, Jasper did not.

In fact, he encountered an unwanted visitor after school.

"Unlock the door, loser!" Rosalie shouted, banging a fist on Jasper's bedroom door again.

"No one is here, please leave a message after the beep," he said mechanically, looking down at the essay he was half-way through writing.

On the other side of the door, she huffed out like a bull. "Jasper, open the door! I have something important to tell you."

He sighed in defeat, dropped the pen in his hand and stalked over to the door. He opened it enough for her to see his face and nothing more. "What do you want? I'm busy."

"Doing what? Reading your porn?" she said, pushing the door open. She sauntered past him like a proud cat and into the room.

"You don't read porn – you watch it," he said, shutting the door.

"Lovely to know," she remarked, flopping on to his neatly made bed.

He came and stood by her feet at the edge of his mattress. "Well? What's so important?"

She shrugged. "Nothing. I'm bored."

"And... you came _here_...?" he asked in disbelief. "You are one lonely bitch."

"Bella is with Edward."

"So?"

"I don't want to hang out with a couple – especially not them."

He rolled his eyes. "What does it matter? They don't know how to do anything beyond a PG rating. It's not like it would be awkward."

Rosalie laughed.

Jasper, in response, began to pull off her shoes playfully, just to annoy her enough to want to go away. She laughed even harder and began kicking him while lying down.

After a small struggle, and pleas for him to stop tickling, Jasper stopped and briefly examined a shoe he had pried away from her. He dropped it nonchalantly and went and sat back down at his desk, resuming his writing.

Rosalie lay still, catching her breath. "Are you gay?"

"Yes," Jasper replied, running his finger over a paragraph in the text book on his desk. "And I am madly in love with your boyfriend. I mean... _ex-boyfriend_."

"Very funny."

The two sat in silence for a minute while Jasper continued furiously scribbling down notes from his textbook.

"Are you going to start dating again?" Rosalie asked, watching her cousin's back for any physical responses to her question. "It's just been _so long_ since Maria..."

His back tensed up slightly. "Thanks for the memo," he muttered.

"Well... What about Alice?"

"What about her?"

"You two seemed to hit it off..."

Jasper coughed and spun around in his chair to look at her. "You have a strange perception of 'hit it off'."

Rosalie began examining her nails casually, hoping to make Jasper think that she was just making conversation. "What? You've never heard of a _love-hate_ relationship? You're totally into her, I can tell."

"Rosie, what do you want?" he asked. "I know you're hedging up to it, so just spit it out."

She propped herself up on her hands. "I want you to double date with me and Em."

He gawked, opened his mouth to retort and then shut it again. He tried again once he had collecting his suddenly sporadic thoughts. "I have a better idea," he tried. "How about you just go to his party tonight, get drunk, hook up with him, get pregnant, and then you'll _have to_ get back together."

He spun back around in his chair, hoping that he hadn't lost all of his concentration by talking to Rosalie.

"I wouldn't hook up with that jerk if my life depended on it," she replied defensively.

Jasper lowered his head to the desk in silent frustration. He would never understand Rosalie and Emmett's relationship.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you liked it! More mayhem will ensue, so stay tuned. Reviews are always much appreciated.<strong>


	5. Virgin's First

**First off, I know it's been a while. But, I've been busy and this story literally did not want to move anywhere. Nonetheless, I think this chapter is on par with the others, and definitely will provide a little entertainment for you.**

**Anyway, while I've got your attention, I just wanted to thank you guys for continuing to read and check up on the story. I've never had a fic this popular before and it makes me so unbelievably happy to hear that I'm entertaining you guys! Your persistent reviews/PMs/favourites of Pushing Buttons really mean the world to me. So, thank you once again.**

**By the way, if you like my page on Facebook ( www . facebook enchantedmind) or follow my blog (www . enchanted-mind-artist . blogspot . com ), you will find sneak peeks of chapters posted days before I'm ready to publish. Just in case some of you fans are interested :)  
><strong>

**Please note that I _may_ come back and edit this chapter in the next few days...  
><strong>

**Hope to hear from y'all soon! Have fun!**

* * *

><p>Alice made a deal with herself: make at least five new friends tonight or else become subjected to a life of loneliness. She figured that if she made an impression, then maybe she would be at next week's party. If that's how the party scene even worked...<p>

"Thanks for taking me, Edward," she said, fiddling with her seatbelt. "I don't think I would have been able to go otherwise!"

He looked at her in the rear-view mirror. "It's no problem at all."

Bella turned around in her seat to look at Alice, but not before giving Edward a cheeky, supposed-to-be-subtle once-over. "I feel like I should warn you about Emmett's parties..." she began. "They're kind of... _well_..."

Alice sat looking doe-eyed at her friend. She didn't dare try to complete the sentence because she had no idea what a high school party was like normally. She had just assumed that the Halloween party from _Mean Girls_ was the best film adaptation of a high school party and based her information on it.

"Over the top?" Edward interjected wryly.

Bella pursed her lips in contemplation for a moment. "_Yeah_," she agreed. "They are kind of like the ones you see in movies. Such a stereotype..."

Alice took this as confirmation that there was some kind of higher entity looking after her. She was going to be eased into the social scene by attending a stereotypical party. She could handle stereotypes – it meant that she knew what to expect.

When they arrived at Emmett's house –a place a little further out into the forest than Alice had expected – the empty driveway told her that they clearly were the first ones there. She realised, then, that she would probably be helping Emmett set up. It had never really occurred to her that there was preparation involved in a party like this, but it seemed logical. After all, the invites had gone out at the beginning of the week.

The three walked inside leisurely and found Emmett merrily carrying an empty keg into the kitchen.

"Eddie boy," he called, not even batting a lid at their silent intrusion. "Bring in the rest of the bottles from my trunk."

Without a word, Edward marched back out the front door and began to unload the booze.

Bella took Alice by the arm once he had left and led her over to the kitchen where they had seen Emmett disappear to. He was struggling to get the kegs working properly and, by the looks of all the beer already on the floor, he hadn't had much success. The two chose to take a few steps back in case of another sudden disaster.

"Need us to do anything, Em?" Bella asked, eyeing the ceiling where some beer had created a noticeable wet patch.

"Uh..." he said, twisting the tap furiously. "Locate some cups? I brought them in but I can't remember where I put them. They could seriously be anywhere."

"Locate cups, no problem," she replied. She pulled Alice away hastily, back into the safety of the living room. "So, when Emmett says they could be anywhere, he means _anywhere_," she explained. They stopped in front the entrance, by the open front door. "You take those rooms, and I'll do the living room and kitchen. If we don't find anything, we'll head upstairs. Nothing is off-limits."

They separated and scuttled off. Alice peeled her eyes for a pile of plastic cups, wanting to be as helpful as possible at her first party. That would make a good impression, right?

_Stop being so eager, Alice_, she chastised. _That's one way to look like an inexperienced fool._

She did a quick once-over of the room from where she stood, looking for any signs of recent disturbance. Nothing caught her eye immediately, so she made a move to begin searching in the cabinet on the other side of the room. But, before she did, she heard Edward trip up the porch stairs, and the subsequent clinking of glass bottles against one another. Just in time, she rushed over and grabbed hold of a couple of 6 packs that were about to fall from his grasp.

"Thanks," Edward offered, regaining his composure. "Hey, Emmett! Where's your _other half_?"

Alice just assumed that 'other half' referred to Rosalie, since it had become clear over the week that they were the sort of couple destined to be together despite the innumerable break-ups. They were just like the cheerleader and jock couple that's always shown in the movies.

Emmett growled like a bear from the kitchen. "I dunno. That damn cowboy better be busy buying more drinks - that's the only way I'll forgive him."

Alice's stomach sent a cold pang up to her throat again. She knew all too well who _'that damn cowboy' _was and it certainly was not Rosalie. Would she be able to just have a nice night without having to think about Jasper? Something told her that it wouldn't happen.

She went back to looking for the cups and, instead, found herself admiring the big collection of photos hanging on the wall. The first picture that caught her eye was one of Emmett and Rosalie posing for their pre-prom photo. They looked so handsome together.

Alice hadn't attended the prom at her old school – there were too many risks for a trouble-magnet like her. That, and there was no way she had not been asked to go with anyone.

Among the other pictures were two photos of Emmett and Jasper. One was of them as young children – though they were still clearly identifiable - and the other was fairly recent. The boys were laughing and hugging each other in the same manner in both photos, like a comparison of then and now. It only confirmed her theory that there would be no way to avoid Jasper tonight – he was Emmett's best friend.

She lingered on the recent photo a little longer than she would have liked. Jasper, though she would not admit it out loud, wasn't all that bad looking. In fact, he was quite photogenic. That made him a double threat: good looking and quick witted.

Of course, he was the one she chose to try and upstage at a new school. _Way to go, Alice._

With that thought in mind, she moved away and continued looking for the rogue cups. After twenty minutes of opening cupboards, lifting papers, and running up and down stairs, Alice and Bella called it quits.

"Emmett!" Bella whined. "I don't know what you've done with them, but we can't find them anywhere."

"They're here somewhere – I know that for sure," he replied, opening a bag of chips.

"How about we just go and get some more?"

"But they will be here any minute!"

"They're already here," Edward corrected. "Oh, wait. It's just Jazz and Rose."

Alice didn't dare turn around and look through the open front door at the expansive driveway. She didn't dare make it look like she was in some way interested in _his_ arrival. Instead, she walked into kitchen to help set up anything she could get her hands on.

She heard Jasper greeting Edward and then Emmett bounding around in the living room. "Dude, did you bring cups?"

No one said anything in response initially, but then she heard the squeak of a moving door. "They're behind the door," Jasper smugly replied.

Of course, Jasper was there to save the day. _Stupid four eyes._

_**...**  
><em>

"_Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!_" the whole group cheered, urging on a more-than-tipsy Eric at the top of the stairs. He made a show of sculling the remaining alcohol mixture in his red plastic cup, and then bowed to his audience down below. The mob continued to encourage him, their cries swirling to a crescendo as he clambered to stand on the balustrade. Then, as if the situation couldn't get any more embarrassing for him, he spread his arms wide, proclaiming himself Batman.

"_Jump! Jump!_"

Eric jumped from the second floor and down onto the carpet below, collapsing onto his side when his legs failed to sustain the impact. The crowd gathered around him in a broke out into fits laughter and appreciative cheers, but no one had sense enough to see if _Batman_ was alright.

This included Jasper, whose laugh seemed to be louder than anyone else's.

_What a pig_, she thought. But, she still didn't make a move to help Eric who, by all accounts, had stopped moving. She couldn't act against the mob, her peers. She wanted to blend in.

So, she walked away.

To be honest, Alice had no idea what to do with herself. She hadn't been game enough to try the punch that everybody was drinking, because she was certain that it was now practically a pure spirit with all the things added to it. She couldn't bring herself to talk to strangers – was that even something people did at parties? And she wasn't in the mood to make out with a random stranger to pass the time. At the same token, however, she didn't want to disappear and miss everything. She needed to see what everyone else did so that the next party she went to would go a little smoother.

As if on cue, someone came up right behind her, clasping their hands down on her shoulders roughly. "Watcha doin', Mad Hatter?"

Jasper.

She turned around slowly and regarded him with a fake smile.

"You look a little lost," he remarked. "If you're looking for the rabbit hole, I think you need to speak to Tom over there." He pointed through the window to a couple of high guys on the front porch, smoking and laughing incessantly about god knows what.

"Not my style," she snapped, and made a move to walk away. She may not have known what to do with herself, but she would rather sneak away and hide than spend time with Jasper. He may just coax her into another argument, and she wasn't at all prepared with any comebacks for him.

"Uh, uh, _Shorty_," he replied, grabbing hold of her arm gently. His grip was gentler than what Alice had been sure he was capable of. "We have a deal that needs settling..."

_Oh, God. He remembered..._

"Sit," he ordered, directing her by the shoulders over to the couch. "I'll be back."

Alice had been nervous about this all night. She had no clue what her alcohol limit was, and she had never done a shot before. She really wished she had done some googling before coming to the party tonight – she could have saved herself a lot of embarrassment.

Her shoulders slumped over slightly as she huffed out; she knew it was a long shot to hope that he might forget about the deal. Yet, she was still sorely disappointed when he remembered.

Jasper returned with four shot glasses, all filled to the brim with brightly coloured liquid. He came over and placed them all on the coffee table in front of Alice, handing over the one with the pink liquid first.

"Come on, Tweedledee," he whined. "Deal's a deal. Three shots and you're off the hook."

The heavy bass from the music made everything vibrate, and she, for a moment, almost wanted to pretend that she couldn't hear him. But, his voice easily broke through the obnoxious techno beat blaring throughout the house.

Alice braced herself mentally. _The time has come._

At her lack of movements, he decided to tempt her a little further. "Unless you want to settle this deal some other way..."

She reached out, subtly clenching her muscles so as not to show the slight trembles that racked her body. She could not show weakness, not to him. With one hand digging her nails into the couch cushion below her, she took hold of it and gave him the best condescending smile she could manage. He, in turn, picked up a shot glass with clear liquid in it.

"Salut," he said, holding up the plastic shot glass. His head tipped back as the liquid disappeared down his throat, throwing his chiselled jaw into sharp relief.

She copied his movements, doing her best not to let the liquid spurt back out of her mouth out of nervousness. She succeeded, but only just. The drink tasted like soda and cotton candy... so sweet and fun! Suddenly, she realised how easy it would be to get drunk and how people 'accidentally' overdid it when it came to alcohol.

"Next one," he ordered, removing the empty plastic cup from her fingers.

"What?" she asked, licking the remaining sweet drops from her ruby red lips. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"

He had to purse his lips to stop the laugh from escaping. His smile wasn't because she had made a funny joke - not even close. He had been vindicated. He had guessed earlier on from her lack of drinking that she had no idea what she was doing, and her question about being drunk over these shots had just proven him right.

He had given her lolly water with next to no alcohol in it, and she couldn't tell the difference.

"Why?" he asked, trying to see if her inexperience would show through a little more. "Can't you hold your alcohol?"

That icy fire in her eyes suddenly flickered to life, and she snatched the remaining two glasses up from the table and downed them one after the other.

He'd play her game. "Impressive," he mocked. Over Alice's shoulder, he saw Rosalie and Emmett stumble into view from a dark corner. Of course, they were all over each other. He rolled his eyes at the predictability.

Alice craned her neck to see what he was looking at, and was slightly taken aback by the sight. She knew that she shouldn't have been.

"So..." Jasper casually began, recapturing her attention. "You've never been drunk before, have you?"

She whipped her head back around to him. "Of course I have," she automatically snapped.

_Stop lying, Pinocchio_, she chastised internally.

He raised a brow sceptically. "I don't think you've ever really drunk before, period."

"Well, you just keep telling yourself that."

"In fact, I'd probably say that this is your first party."

"Then you'd better give up your aspirations of being a telepath."

His grin widened. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"Not in a million years." She had a mind to slap him. Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but he seemed that much more irritating at that very moment. Unfortunately, nothing witty came to mind and so she couldn't retort.

He didn't need her to speak. Something about that fierce gleam in her eyes spurred him on. Suddenly, he was standing up, whistling to grab everyone's attention. He didn't even really know why he was doing this, but he knew it would be worth it. "Listen up, people!" he called when enough people had turned towards him. "This is the new girl's first party," he pointed dramatically down at Alice so that they would know who he was referring to without a doubt. "So, let's do this thing right! DJ -a little something for the virgin's first, if you please!"

"Woo!" the crowd drunkenly replied as a new music track began to shake the house. "_New girl! New girl!_"

Alice couldn't move at first, locked in place by her embarrassment. Not only had she been called on her bluff by a boy she couldn't stand, but she had just been labelled as new girl _again_. Without thinking, she picked up a cup nearby and threw the remaining contents in Jasper's face.

"_Ooooh!_" the mob cheered.

Jasper coughed unamused, and used his sleeve to wipe away the drink dripping over the contours of his face.

"What's all the commotion?" Emmett boomed, bustling over as Jasper opened up his eyes. Emmett seemed to speak louder and more enthusiastically than he normally did, almost as if he'd lost his volume control, and so Alice guessed that he may have had a few drinks as well.

The Hulk practically threw Jasper into a bear hug at seeing his friend drenched in beer. "Come on, Jazzy!" he said, trying to hold him still. Jasper fought back. Within seconds, they were wrestling each other, laughing like the juvenile morons that they were.

The mob around them started up again, naturally. "_Fight! Fight! Fight!_"

They continued on, stumbling around, knocking things and people over. Emmett managed to put Jasper in a headlock, but being the snake that he was, he escaped and they continued on. The two of them flung around, until Emmett managed to pull Jasper's shirt over his head.

A few girls wolf-whistled appreciatively at the sight.

Jasper came crashing to the floor after losing his balance, and Emmett jumped on top of him. Alice would have flinched at the loud thud Emmett's muscles made, but then she remembered that it was only Jasper on the floor. The two boys separated, Jasper pulling his shirt back down, and laughed heartily.

"I love you, man," Emmett proclaimed and dramatically kissed Jasper on the cheek. He, in turn, wiped his cheek in mock-disgust.

Just when she opened her mouth to ask how drunk they might be, a mighty cheer broke out from the backyard.

Then, they started chanting in slurred unison. "_Baseball, baseball, baseball..._"

Tyler opened up the back door with loud bang, and leaned half of his body into the room. "Jasper, we need you to pitch," he slurred, holding his half-empty cup up in a drunken salute. "_Waddayasay_?"

Jasper screwed up his nose slightly. "Why? You motherfuckers can't even hit the ball when you're sober."

Everyone in the vicinity roared in laughter, including Tyler who doubled over and spilled approximately half the contents of his cup on a girl without noticing.

Jasper rolled his eyes, but agreed, and followed Tyler into the backyard.

Alice remained by the couch, watching the party scene recuperate around her. Everywhere she looked, she saw things she'd only seen in movies. In one corner, Rosalie's legs were clamped around Emmett's hips, their hands in places she didn't feel comfortable seeing. Against the window was that guy from her calculus class passed out on the floor. Bella was straddling Edward's lap, also putting her hands where Alice didn't want to see. She saw two girls making out to win a bet, cups and brown stains from their contents everywhere, and even football being thrown over peoples' heads.

And there she was, sitting on her own.

She wanted to go over to a random group of people, say hi and just start chatting as if she knew them all. She wanted to at least become a familiar face. But, she couldn't make her legs move to go over to them. How embarrassing.

"New girl!" Mike slurred, coming to sit beside Alice.

She turned to him sceptically and he threw a seedy smile at her.

"Have I ever told you that... I have the_ highestrespectforvirgins_?"

That did it! She would prove to Jasper that she was no party virgin (even though she was). With the involuntary purse of her lips, she stormed off to the kitchen to see what sort of alcoholic concoction she could get her hands on.

She would make him eat his own words!

In the kitchen, it was clear that there wasn't a whole lot of alcohol left. Alice made a split second decision to see if there was anything left in either of the grey kegs. As she made her way over, she passed a small cluster of girls.

"Did you see those abs?" one of them hissed.

"I knew he was buff, but, _pwah_..."

As Alice went to fill up her cup, she listened to what the tipsy group of girls was giggling about. Apparently, Jasper was on their menu. Intrigued, she took her time choosing a new cup and checking to make sure it was sanitary.

The tall blonde _boy _was practically a male model and getting into a make out session with him was like being given a golden ticket past the gates of popularity. Going any further with him was unheard of and, as such, bonus points were awarded for it.

Not that Alice wanted popularity – she just wanted acceptance.

A girl named Jessica volunteered to take the first shot at Jasper. She said it would only take her low-cut shirt to fall away from her shoulders before he would be _all_over her. This was, of course, according to her, known from past experience.

Alice wondered then if she had a chance. Major social points were something she considered precious.

When she realised what she was thinking, she mentally slapped herself. Hook up with Jasper? Only in her darkest nightmare.

Jessica scuttled past, looking to head out into the backyard where Jasper was.

The other two girls remained, and when Alice swore she saw them point discreetly at her and snigger, she saw red. Come Monday, Jasper would be sorry he ever opened his trap. Virgin she may be, but cautious she was not.

* * *

><p><strong>As always, I'd love to hear what you thought! Thanks for reading!<strong>


	6. Hotline

**Okay, so it's time for me to confess my 'oopsies' moment. In the last chapter, it seems that I may have made Jasper a bit more of a jerk than I meant to. I swear he didn't quite sound that bad in my head.**

**Oh, well. I wasn't trying to make you side with a character because they are going to be equally horrible to one another. I guess I'll have to balance out the situation and make Alice the bad guy this time around... This chapter is only a shortie because what happens next requires its own chapter... Happy reading!**

**Also, Pushing Buttons now has its own blog you can follow where all update information and images are posted. Check it out here (remove spaces): **

**pushing-buttons-fanfic . blogspot . com  
><strong>

* * *

><p>The first thing Jasper noticed was out of the ordinary on Monday morning was that everybody was sniggering around him. He didn't want to sound melodramatic, but he was pretty sure they were laughing at him. Something had gone down recently and he was totally unaware of it.<p>

Monday was beginning to become an interesting day of the week, he mused.

He tried to think of what they could possibly be whispering about but came up blank. He started by making a list of the obvious things: hadn't drunk to excess at Emmett's party and could clearly recall that he hadn't done anything embarrassing; he hadn't left the house all weekend so he hadn't been spotted anywhere; and Rosalie had spent all weekend in Emmett's bed, so she hadn't spread a rumour about him being gay. Again.

For a change, he was utterly confounded.

That is, until he discovered the likely reason why people were looking at him. As he walked towards the main entrance staircase, he noticed a flyer on the ground that seemed to be causing the uproar. It was face down and, despite the few muddy footprints across the back, it was clearly a fresh piece of paper. When he turned around and looked at the others gathered in the parking lot, he realised that many of them seemed to be holding the same grey piece of paper.

So, it was a flyer that people were laughing about.

He bent over and picked it up. It had a few dirty shoeprints across the surface from being on the floor, but it certainly didn't change the visibility of the print.

A large photo took up at least half of the page, demanding attention. It was of a male model dressed only in a pair of boxers, sitting provocatively on a couch. Only, his real head had been replaced by a headshot of Jasper sticky taped clumsily over the top. Stencilled above the image in bold capital letters was a question. _"Have you been bad?"_ it asked.

Jasper let the air out of his lungs in a long huff. Spreading a rumour via a flyer... That was hardly original. And making him into a man-whore... That was even less original.

He studied it briefly, noting that despite it looking cheap, there was actually a level of design in it.

Who wanted revenge on him this bad? Newton was crossed off the list instantly because Jasper knew he didn't have the guts to stomach the consequences. Emmett had to be crossed off the list too because this would undoubtedly cross a line between them. He didn't have any disgruntled ex-girlfriends – not at the school, at least – and so he didn't think it would be any of them.

He read on out of curiosity, dropping his eyes to the bottom of the page. _"1800-balls-r-us. Call me anytime!"_

As soon as he read over the phone number again, he knew exactly who was responsible.

Alice.

While he didn't think he deserved this kind of humiliation so early in the game, he had to give her props: she had courage. A lot, apparently.

Now he had to do some damage control.

The best plan of action – that is, the idea that meant he would be the least embarrassed – was to laugh the situation off as if it was a joke between friends. That was the dull way to play it, but it would have the desired outcome in the end.

He would begin laughing, he amended, peering down at the page again, just as soon as he discovered why Tweedledum was taking this one step further than it needed to go.

Was this going to turn ugly?

Since it was Monday morning and all the flyers looked relatively fresh, Jasper knew they had been distributed this morning. That meant that Alice had to be on campus somewhere. The grounds weren't big enough for her to hide from him for long. He folded up the flyer in one hand and walked as quickly as he could into the building.

The hall had a row of the flyers plastered over the lockers and walls, and a few loose ones lying proudly against the linoleum floor. It was like a scene from a bad high-school drama.

As he paced past more people looking at him strangely, he mapped out a mental route to most effectively go through every area of the school twice within fifteen minutes. He thought, for sure, he would come across her at some point if he did two laps of the school.

The route ensured that he sped past her locker first, knowing that it was a logical place to start. When he rounded the corner, he saw that he hadn't of needed plan any further because that was exactly where she was. She and Lauren Mallory were giggling about something. Probably about him.

He slowed his pace to be leisurely, so that it didn't look like he had come looking for her specifically. That, and he didn't want to go near Lauren after she had thrown her drunken self at him at the party.

Lauren saw him coming from down the hall, and whispered something to Alice. She didn't turn around as he thought she might, but kept her back deliberately towards him.

What would be his plan of attack?

To tie in with the public facade that this was all a light joke, he thought he should play it calm and collected. It was perfect; she would see that he wasn't deterred very easily, and the childish male prostitute whispers would dissipate before he could become bothered by them.

That was his plan, but he had no clue whether it would stick or not. Alice had the tendency to unnerve him at times, and he often found himself thrown into unmarked territory when she opened her mouth.

He had to admire her tenacity, though. No girl had ever challenged him like that and really stuck to her guns. He would admit, even to her, that although the flyers weren't original, a lot of effort had gone into trying to dent his ego.

When he was a reasonable distance from her, he coughed into the quietness.

_Here we go. Play it cool._

"Did you have fun at the party, Tweedledee?" he asked to her back. She may have gone in with guns blazing this morning, but he still had ammunition from Friday night's antics.

"Uh..." Lauren said, taking a step back cautiously, "I'll catch you later, Alice." And she scuttled off after giving Jasper a quick glance.

Alice just turned around and smiled like the cat that ate the canary. He could tell that she was more than pleased with her own efforts to take him down a notch. But, he wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

"Not as much as I usually would have," she replied, folding her arms.

"You didn't drink very much... and when I came back, you were gone."

"I went home with Edward and Bella after you went out to play baseball. I'm not a big drinker. Besides, I did three shots – that was enough."

"They were hardly shots," he said, trying to head up to his main attack.

But, she steered them away from that route. "Excuse me, but am I going to need to pay for this conversation? I think I've only got enough for an hour..." she pointed her hand loosely at the flyer in his hand.

"No one here could afford a _full_ hour with me," he quipped, undoing the folded paper. He held it up for her to see, as if she hadn't of been the one who devised it. "I hope you're not majoring in art because that would just be embarrassing."

"I think I do a pretty good representation of Picasso," she replied, folding her arms. "Anything else you'd like to critique?"

"Almost funny," he automatically quipped. Picasso was _his_ joke. "And, yes: if you wanted to go for maximum insult, I'm not sure why you put me on a model's body..."

"Yours wasn't sufficient. I needed it to look credible." He couldn't argue with that one. "And... I didn't want it to look too authentic," she reasoned, pulling her books tighter to her chest, "because it's not exactly difficult to believe."

Jasper's brow creased. "Is that a fancy way of calling me a slut?"

She shrugged innocently, poking out her full bottom lip. "If that's your interpretation..."

He suddenly didn't know how to play this hand.

He wasn't sure if it was worth fighting against the rumour she had started.

Truthfully, he'd only ever slept with one girl before: his psychotic ex-girlfriend, Maria. But, he wasn't sure that was the best thing to admit publicly. After all, he did have a respected reputation amongst his peers to protect. He didn't want to look soft because he'd never seen the allure of one night stands or girls with prostitute length skirts. He wasn't entirely embarrassed by his decision to only have sex with someone he at least considered a girlfriend, but it wasn't something he advertised to the other guys his age. As far as they knew, he was a god when it came to women.

He appraised Alice's appearance again, realising that there was something a little different about her. She had shorter hair than when he'd seen her on Friday, and so he wondered if it was somehow a reflection of her growing confidence. Or maybe it was the other way around.

He had to admit, finding someone this eager to try and equal him was a turn-on. He would've told her so too, but he was now afraid of what she might do with the information. And that novelty was an even bigger turn-on.

"My, my..." he said. "What's got your panties in a twist?"

Alice looked at him sceptically. "This is just payback. Take your pick as to what: throwing a tennis ball at me, filling my locker with them, or calling me the virgin new girl in front of everyone..."

He laughed quietly to himself at his achievements. "You're right – you are running behind in this race..."

Her brows lowered slightly, displeased. "Not for long," she promised.

"Jazzy!" Emmett called from the end of the hall, his voice bouncing off everything in the empty interior. He came jogging over, Rosalie casually walking along behind him.

He, much to Jasper's dismay, had a copy of the flyer in his hands.

He laughed when he saw the two of them standing together. "Nice body, man," he chuckled, flicking the paper with the back of his hand. He appraised the flyer with such enthusiasm that you'd swear there was a naked woman on it. "Are you two negotiating a price for tonight?"

Alice gave him a humourless stare. Uncannily, Jasper looked at him the same way. "Just give us a minute..."

"You should put _that_ on your poster," Rosalie remarked, coming to standstill behind Emmett.

Jasper peered over Emmett's shoulder at her. "And yours should say _'pregnancy guaranteed'_."

Emmett's face went marble white at his best friend's remark and he swivelled robotically around to look at her.

Rosalie's temper flared up quicker than a bull seeing red. "He's just being a dick, Emmett. You believe him over me?"

The two walked off, bickering about whatever they could.

Jasper turned back to look at Alice, to conclude their session for the morning.

Two other girls walked past, flyer in hand, stifling their hyena-like giggles.

"The flyer is not the most original concept out there, but it did the job..." she nodded her head discreetly to the duo.

Play it cool, Jasper reminded himself.

He leaned casually up against the wall again. "So, _really_, did you have fun at the party?"

He was waiting for any hint of self-doubt or anxiety to slip across her face. Because he _knew_. He knew that she hadn't been to a party before because she had been so uptight and reserved most of the night. It wasn't suave to admit it, but he'd taken notice of her at intermittent times. Mostly, he swore, to prove his own theory correct.

The theory went that Alice was not acquainted with school life the same way he was. She was a good girl taking a bad game.

He didn't realise it, but he knew an awful lot about that.

The way she stared up at him fiercely caused his breath to hitch. That wide-eyed stare reminded him of the dream he had had over the weekend. That very _colourful_ dream. About Alice.

He didn't want it to sound perverted, but after seeing Alice at the party in her short party dress, he may have been slightly preoccupied by what he'd seen. The night after, she decided to pay a visit to him in his dreams.

They had quarrelled and had a very passionate, very drawn out way of relieving themselves of the tension. It had been enough for him to hit the snooze button on his clock seven times the following morning.

Having such dreams, he wouldn't deny, was not what caught him off guard. It was more that this particular dream had been good. _Extremely_ good.

When she stared up at him like that, it was eerily similar to the way she had when she had kneeled before him-

He cut himself off before he became distracted all day by the memory.

It went without saying that he would not, under any circumstances, admit that dream to anybody. It was dangerous information to divulge – even to Emmett.

"Like I said," she almost growled. "I've had better times."

What Jasper didn't know was that Alice faced an identical problem. Literally, an identical problem. She too, after seeing his face go blank for a moment, saw something that reminded her of that particularly vivid dream.

That really good dream. Of him.

"You know," he broke into her reverie. "I don't believe that."

The crease in her forehead that showed her frustration deepened. "And... what? You're a mind reader now?"

"I know I'm right."

"No, you're not."

_Bingo._ She was overly defensive; that was a telltale sign to him. He decided that he would have to pay close attention over the coming weeks to confirm his theory.

Nobody challenged him without a great track record and came out unscathed.

"Whatever you say, Mad Hatter."

That was his cue to leave, and so he pushed off the wall and spun around to go and find Emmett.

"See you in psych," she called to his back, meaning for it to sound menacing.

"You definitely will," he impulsively replied, not turning around to regard her.

_Damn._ He had thought about skipping to go home early today, but she had suddenly made that out of the question.

* * *

><p><strong>So, if you want to, you can check out a copy of the flyer Alice made on the Pushing Buttons blog: pushing-buttons-fanfic . blogspot . com<br>**

**Until next time, my fabulous readers!**


	7. Principal's Office

**As always, thank you all so much for the encouraging reviews. You make writing this story an absolute joy and I am always thrilled to hear that this story provides entertainment (and laughter). Enjoy this chapter and the next one isn't too far away!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>FOUND<strong>_

_One leather collar._

_Found in my bed after a great night. Didn't catch her name, but she answers to Tweedledee._

_If you see her, let her know she can come and collect it free of charge._

_Anytime._

Alice seethed at the black ink on the page.

This was just the crowning jewel of a string of pranks that had gone on between her and Jasper over the last few weeks. First, it had been the lizard-in-her-bag incident, and then there was the 'honk if you're horny' bumper sticker Alice managed to get onto Jasper's car. After that, they had yet another entertaining argument about Frued full of innuendo, and then she _may_ have very publicly compared his intelligence to a grasshopper's a few days ago. His 'pranks' had all been pretty tame, like her retaliations, until this point. This seemed to be payback for the flyers that had made him famous around the school. Even more famous, that is.

Alice scrunched the cheaply printed student newspaper in her hands and slumped against the back of the red plastic chair. Looking around the room, she could only seem to see an ocean of student newspapers. Everywhere she turned, the pale yellow paper was being passed around, laughed at, and even thrown around as paper planes. The unusual uproar was thanks to this so called "hilarious" prank that _someone_ had pulled.

It had taken a few hours for people to work out who the mastermind behind the lost and found ad was, but Alice knew it was _his _handy work as soon as she read it. The reason people figured it out by lunch was because some big mouth in her year level (most likely Emmett) highlighted the fact that Tweedledee was Jasper's nickname for Alice. When people realised, the ad then mysteriously corresponded perfectly to the flyer Alice had sent out two weeks beforehand.

If she had been an outsider to the situation, she would've said that his response to her flyer was borderline genius, but she didn't have the luxury of objective thinking. And so _this_ was just something else she was going to have to try and top.

What infuriated her most was that he had taken her attack and somehow turned it around to make himself look like a hero. He had suddenly made a joke out of her joke and made her look the fool.

A slutty fool.

It was strange because there wasn't a single fibre of her being that wanted to give up this rat race. Despite knowing she was probably in over her head, she found her creativity was somewhat spurred on by his. She also found it oddly liberating that his attacks on her did not make her at all self-conscious.

"Do you want me to kick his ass?" Rosalie asked, noting the way Alice's brow furrowed when some students walked past with the newspaper in their grimy hands. "It's no problem."

Alice shook her head, savagely tearing the bread within her fingers to pieces. "I can take care of it. Whenever he decides to show his ugly mug..."

"He's probably got detention..."

"Nah-uh," Emmett chimed in, gulping down a mass of food in his mouth. "Jazz is in the principal's office. He got called out of class before lunch."

"Good," Rosalie replied. "He's getting suspended for this prank, then..."

"Meetings don't go on this long unless it's serious," Emmett replied soberly. "Getting a suspension is a ten minute job."

"Emmett," Edward said. "That's because your visits to the principal's office are routine. His are not."

"I'm telling you," Emmett simply responded confidently, "something big is going on..."

Eric walked past the table at that moment, holding his loaded plastic lunch tray. Most of the table's inhabitants turned to look at him, but not Alice who seethed in the background.

"Hi... Do you guys know where Jasper is?" he asked expectantly. "I just wanted to talk to him about the newspaper..."

Edward sucked in a sharp breath beside Bella, knowing that the newspaper was a touchy subject for one person on the table. Bella also watched Alice out of the corner of her eye and saw her turn her incredulous stare to him.

Earlier in the day, Eric had said that there were more people reading this issue of the student newspaper than ever before and he was clearly elated by the fact. Since everyone was talking about the _funny_ ad in the lost and found section, she figured they attributed the success to Jasper's smart ass. That just put another undeserved gold star to his name.

Eric didn't really notice Alice fuming at the end of the table, looking towards Emmett for a response, but Rosalie could feel the tension emanating from her friend beside her.

"Eric," Rosalie admonished, giving him a famous icy glare. "Get out of here."

He looked a little startled by her response, but he certainly didn't fight the daggers he was being thrown. With a quick uncomfortable smile, he muttered a quick "okay, see you" and toddled off.

"Honestly, the nerve that idiot has..." Rosalie grumbled. She looked at Alice to ask her something, but saw the livid monster lying dormant in her eyes. "You have my permission to kill Jasper, if it makes you feel any better."

Slaying him would solve many problems, but Alice knew her pride would only be satisfied if she could equal him again.

**...**

"Jasper," Principal Hubert said. "This isn't a joking matter, this is an integral part of your future."

Jasper sat on the other side of the desk with his shoulders slumped and mouth clenched. He looked utterly unimpressed. "But... I've been suspended more than once! Surely that puts a black mark on my name!"

The balding principal placed both his hands on the armrests of the leather chair he sat in, trying to make sure he didn't become too authoritative over the teenager in front of him. "There's no rule at this school that says Valedictorian is someone who has never been suspended. It's just that, usually, people who have been suspended are not as..."

"Academically inclined?" Jasper finished.

"_Academically inclined_, yes," Principal Hubert replied. He leaned forward and knotted his fingers on the desk in front of him. "I don't understand, Jasper... Why wouldn't you want to be Valedictorian?"

Jasper shrugged nonchalantly.

The principal grunted, probably thinking about the infamous flyer that Alice had sent out two weeks ago. "You cannot just _give up_ something like this. The fact is, if you keep up the grades you have at the moment, you will be our top student. Don't you want to go Ivy League like your brother?"

Jasper huffed out at the mention of Peter, his perfect older brother. It wasn't that he didn't respect his brother, or admire him, it was that Peter was a straight line. Jasper liked a bit more excitement, a bit more colour in his life. He would hate to think that he had turned out as a clone of Peter - being Valedictorian was certainly a step in the right direction.

Jasper wasn't sure that he wanted to go to an Ivy League school and become pretentious, but he understood that it would be the best option if he wanted to become a psychologist. He knew his parents would really like it if he went to one, and that deep down he would be disappointed in himself if he didn't make the cut into a good-name college. It had just never been something that seemed like a real issue until now, like it was always something he would sort out in the future sometime.

"Meh," Jasper replied in contrast to his convoluted thoughts. "Whatever."

The Principal breathed in slowly. "Look, I know finals are still nearly three months away, and a lot can happen in that time, but you need to see that you are more than the class clown you tend to show yourself as. Your grades have been consistent since middle school, so I want you to realise what you've accomplished, and how easily you may just let it all slip away."

Jasper shook his head and smiled at a private joke in his mind. _Are the other students really that stupid?_

"Jasper," the principal almost scolded. "You are a highly intelligent young man, don't jeopardise your future for some fun."

"_Fun_ has never held me back before."

He lowered his tone, taking away more of the authoritative edge. "I've known your family for quite some time now, Jasper. I know your parents would be exceptionally happy to see you reach your full potential. You are more than capable of this, I am sure of it."

Principal Lester Hubert eyed the young boy carefully. He knew that Jasper was a rare sort of intelligence. He may have played around and socialised better than most, but he made excellent grades and obviously learned concepts quickly. While his brother Peter had been clever too, he had been somewhat better behaved than Jasper. Lester knew that Jasper just needed a bit of a nudge in the right direction, because he was an exceptional student and nowhere near 'lost cause' status. His job as an educator was to make sure teenagers made sensible decisions.

"I know Ivy League is pretty much out of the question because my record is not squeaky clean. I'm not stupid," Jasper replied defiantly. Lester caught something in his tone that suggested he didn't quite believe his own words.

"There are ways, Jasper, I assure you. You have quite a few advantages in your court."

The teenager's scepticism didn't lessen. "It's cut-throat at that level. I'd just be another average fish in a _very_ sophisticated pond."

Principal Hubert nodded in understanding. He had prepared an incentive earlier for Jasper that he hoped would make the young man knuckle down and start taking his last few months seriously. "We would be willing to remove a few _notable instances_ from your permanent record if you were to come top of the class... We always aim to give our students the best start to the next step of their education. "

Stunned at what had just been said, Jasper coughed out a laugh.

Had he just been cut a deal?

He'd never really thought too hard about attending college, if he was honest. He knew he would further his education, and he sort of thought he would end up at an Ivy League school in the shadow of his older brother, but he'd never given much credence as to how difficult that really was. Now, all the motions were being put in place for grandiose plans he'd never properly aimed for.

The bell signalling the end of lunch rang through the office behind him. Neither made a move to end the meeting, however.

"So, I just have to keep up my GPA, and I'll be Valedictorian?" Jasper asked, eyeing the middle-aged man with a greying comb-over sceptically.

Principal Hubert nodded, internally jumping for joy that he had gotten Jasper to see how serious this was. "And, please, no more trouble."

Jasper may not have been the squeaky clean student most Valedictorians were, but he had just as much heart and a lot more potential than most. The school was taking a risk putting their reputation on his shoulders, but Lester had a gut feeling that it would turn out for the best.

Jasper let out a big puff of air at the realisation. "Rosalie is going to kill me."

**...**

"Alright, settle down," Miss S called over the sea of excited students. She stood at the front of the room, cradling a stack of freshly photocopied paper. "Seeing as you all seemed to have had such an exciting lunch, you can channel some of that enthusiasm into a pop quiz."

There was a general murmur of disappointment and objections from the class, and a very loud _"Eww!"_ from Emmett over the top.

"Pens out," Miss S simply said, not even batting an eyelash at their typical response. She began handing the papers out, placing them face down on the tables as she went down the row.

"Damn," Bella hissed beside Alice, withdrawing a pen from her pencil case. "I haven't done the homework yet – I don't know what's going on... _Damn it_!"

Alice just shrugged. "It's a pop quiz, who cares," she tried to comfort.

The truth was that she personally didn't care what was going on for two reasons: one, she'd never been afraid of psychology tests, and, two, she just wanted to know where the hell Jasper was after pulling such a stunt.

She had fury to unleash before she could concentrate properly.

Alice just sat seething as she watched Miss S approach. Miss S approached Emmett and Jasper's joined table in front of Bella and Alice and placed only one sheet down for Emmett.

"Jasper is in the principal's office," Emmett instantly defended, sliding the test paper towards himself. He didn't want Jasper to get into trouble for not attending class.

Miss S smiled softly and nodded. "It's alright - I know. He should be back before the end of class and I'm sure he's just as eager to take the quiz..." She moved a few steps forward and placed two test papers face down on the table for Bella and Alice and then moved off.

The day, in Alice's opinion, couldn't get any worse. Jasper had thrown her a curve-ball that, frankly, was going to be hard to beat, and now she had to do a surprise test. The only consolation was that had finally scraped enough money together to buy a mattress and, more importantly, she had a job interview after school.

After weeks of rejection emails, she had lowered her standards and decided to try her hand at waitressing type jobs. She had dreamed of being surrounded by clothing all day, and wearing their latest trends at discount prices, but she had finally given up that idea and threw her standards into the dirt. As such, she was applying for a job at a pizza shop. The pay wouldn't be great, she knew, but it was at least a step in the right direction. Maybe the experience would lead her somewhere fabulous in the end.

She could only hope.

"You all have thirty minutes to finish the test," Miss S called, breaking Alice's reverie. "Off you go."

Alice flipped over the paper like everyone else and began scanning the first question before even writing her name on the page. After a quick assessment of the questions, she concluded that it was all straight forward, with just some definitions and an extended response at the end.

While there wasn't anything too hard on there, she did find herself suddenly unable to provide an accurate description for "conditional learning".

She had made her way through most of the short answers by the time the classroom door silently opened and Jasper snuck in.

Curiously, Alice thought, Miss S didn't question his whereabouts but simply nodded and handed him a quiz sheet. He took it quietly and walked down to his seat in front of Alice, but not before gesturing to his neck quickly, suggesting that there was something wrong with hers. Of course, he was just referring to the leather collar that she had apparently lost. She shot him a colourful hand signal in response and he cracked a purely wicked grin.

It was more than she should have noticed, but he wasted no time in getting started on the quiz paper, furiously scribbling items down on the page before reading through anything. She refused to acknowledge that they shared the same approach when it came to tests.

He seemed to hunch further and further over the paper with every question, as if he could write faster by leaning so close. She'd never seen him so intent on anything school related before. Then again, this was the first time she had seen him take a test.

When she noticed how focused she'd become on him, she turned back to the test and continued answering the questions.

She got stuck about three quarters of the way through, just before she attempted the "extended response" question about Pavlov's dogs. She knew she was probably over-analysing it, but she was sure her definition for "punishment" was missing a key word.

In the end, she gave up and began writing out her summary of Pavlov's experiment with dogs. Much to her horror and confusion, she realised halfway through that she had mixed up some information with Skinner's rats experiment. She wasn't sure how that happened since they weren't really related, but she put it down to her slightly AWOL mind.

Luckily, she had enough time left to fix her error. She knew she was cutting it close as she wrote out her final sentence.

"Pens down, please," the teacher interjected, standing up from her desk at the front. Again, a general grumble of disapproval resounded around the room and Miss S paid no attention to it.

Alice congratulated herself internally for completing the test after such a stupid mishap at the end.

When she came to collect the papers from them, she offered Jasper an extra ten minutes seeing as he was late, but he declined claiming that he was already done.

Alice cocked a righteous brow at his admission of stupidity._ There is no way he answered all the questions, then._

As the teacher moved on, collecting filled out quizzes and reassuring the dejected that it wasn't as bad as they thought, Emmett turned his big expectant puppy dog face to Jasper beside him. "Bro, I was getting worried! You were in there for like an hour... What did you-" he paused unexpectedly and put a brotherly hand on his shoulder. "What's _wrong_?"

Jasper didn't respond instantly, but did turn his serious face to look at him. From the shape of his profile, Alice thought she almost saw a frown. "Let's get smashed."

"My place! Tonight," Emmett offered, rubbing his hands together cunningly.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but do you even have parents anymore?"

"Nope. So, what time you coming over? I think there's still a bottle or two left from a few weeks ago..."

"Later," Jasper replied, pulling his glasses off his nose. He set them down on the table by his pen and wiped his face in frustration. "I have to do stuff first."

"Baseball practice?" Emmett guessed.

"Hell no - I'm not going to that. Those idiots couldn't win against a team of midget amputees!"

"I don't think that's politically correct, Jazz," Bella chastised, leaning a cheek against her palm.

Jasper swivelled around in his seat to regard her. Suddenly his face didn't seem as gloomy as it had been moments before. "Why? I said they would win."

She just rolled her eyes playfully and looked quickly at Alice to see her reaction.

Jasper also followed her line of sight and looked at Alice. She stared back at him until he fidgeted.

"So..."

"So..." she imitated, folding her arms coldly.

He cracked another immature grin. "You can admit it: I am a genius."

"I'll die first."

"Of what?" he asked. "Embarrassment? Because I think I may have brought you one step closer. Now, personally, _I _wouldn't be embarrassed by sex toys because it can enhance a reputation, but I didn't think it was the case with you."

She just stared at him, unamused by his gloating.

"_Aaaaand_, I was right."

Emmett snickered beside him at the exchange of faces the two made.

"Anyway," Jasper said, averting his suddenly harder eyes to Bella. "Want to get drunk with us tonight?"

"Jazz," Bella said. "It's Tuesday."

"So...?"

She just shook her head firmly. Bella was not irresponsible enough to do that, let alone on a school night.

"Well, what about you?" Jasper suddenly asked, turning back to look at Alice.

For a moment, she was surprised and slightly touched that he had made an effort to ask her. But, then she remembered what happened the last time they were around alcohol, and that it was Jasper who had asked her, and suddenly those nice thoughts fell into an abyss.

Instead of answering, she reached down into her bag and discreetly pulled out a tennis ball. It wasn't a grand prank by any means, but watching Jasper get hurt would help make her feel slightly better.

Curious, Jasper watched her from his seat.

Without warning, she flung the ball square at his face, only narrowly missing because of his apparently lightning-fast reflexes. She felt somewhat better knowing she had nearly hit his face.

"What do you think?" Alice asked rhetorically.

Emmett leaned over to Jasper, not retracting his eyes from Alice. He made a point of whispering loudly so that everyone could hear, "She's really mad at you, bro."

Jasper whispered back in the same fashion, "Good."

* * *

><p><strong>Make sure you stick around for the next chapter because some serious, serious mayhem is about break loose! <strong>

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Buddy?

**A/N: Here is a chapter I have been excited about for a long time. It comes as a kind of pivotal point in the story, and while it may seem a bit cliché on the surface, by the end I hope you won't think so. **

**By the way, I would just like to thank all my readers tremendously for your encouraging reviews. They seriously are what give me the drive to keep going :)**

**Also, I would like to apologise to anyone who may have emailed me in the past and who received spam links from me this week. My email account has been hacked at least 3 times this week, and so it was not me who sent that stuff out. At any rate, if you opened up one of those emails I strongly recommend changing your password for safety. Sorry!**

**Enjoy the chapter and happy Easter!**

* * *

><p>"So, what's wrong with Bella?" Alice asked Rosalie after discovering that they would be the only two occupying the lunch table for the afternoon.<p>

"She and Edward got mono," Rose replied, eyeing off a nail she'd been filing. "Totally disgusting."

Alice's stomach sank at realising what that meant: she had no wing-woman for Psychology this afternoon.

In that moment, skipping the class sounded like a really good idea. But, she knew she wouldn't have the guts to do it since she'd never skipped a class in her entire schooling career. She was a chicken like that.

"Do you start tonight?" Rosalie asked, putting down the nail file in favour of her water bottle. She raised her brow slightly when Alice didn't respond.

"Start what?"

"Your job."

"Oh!" Alice shook her head at herself – the only time she hadn't of been thinking about her new job was the only time someone wanted to know. "Yeah... I have to work until midnight..."

Despite all her unrealistic fantasies and desperate silent prayers, Alice had let the reins loose a little and landed herself the ultra-glamorous job of working night hours in a pizza shop. The pay was terrible, the shop was small, but it was a safe walking distance from her apartment and would provide her with a better-than-nothing income.

Before she'd known what her hourly rate would be, Alice had already divided up where her first pay would go – a new pair of boots and a cute top. After she'd found out what her pay was, she knew she would have to work three weeks to realise those goals.

"You're going to smell like pizzas tomorrow," Rosalie laughed. "Make sure your work clothes don't get mixed in with your other ones... I remember there used to be someone here who also worked in a pizza shop and all of his clothes smelled funny because of it. Maybe he never showered..."

"Thanks, Rosalie," Alice groaned. Yet another reminder of how far down in the social pecking order she had had to go to ensure her electricity didn't get cut off. "That doesn't really make me feel any better."

"Relax! You're fifty times cuter than what he was. No one would say anything..."

"_Again_, thank you," Alice replied sarcastically. "Can we please change the subject? I'm nervous enough as it is..."

With a petite shrug, Rosalie picked up a fragment of apple from her salad. "Alright then... So, what's this rumour about you and Jazz?"

Alice coughed up the water she had been trying to swallow in that instant, narrowly avoiding the chance to be nicknamed "squirt". The pain of bringing it up again made a tear stream down her face (she quickly congratulated herself on picking water-proof mascara this morning). "I think you know the answer to that."

"Well..." she smiled sheepishly, "I know it's not true because I know exactly where he was yesterday, but I was just wondering how the rumour got started..."

"Why don't you ask him about it? I assumed it was his fault."

"Haven't had the chance..." Rosalie admitted. "He and Emmett were so hung-over yesterday that it was embarrassing. I went over and got kicked out of the house because my _breathing was too loud_. That's why I don't think it was him."

Alice had forgotten Jasper's plans to get blind drunk after his meeting with the principal and suddenly it explained why she and Bella had had a peaceful time in Psychology yesterday without the two stooges.

Only one current problem remained: _who_ had started the rumour?

She ran through a list of people that could be her possible enemies (or, in her case, potential bullies), finding the list to be somewhat small. She then began running through all the class lists she knew, scouring her brain to come up with more possible suspects. While she picked her mind to pieces, she barely noticed Emmett's usual dramatic entrance to the cafeteria.

He came bustling over and sat down, draping an arm around Rosalie's shoulders, before she even really noticed.

"Hey, babe," he greeted, pecking Rosalie affectionately on the cheek. "Wanna stay over? I bought food this time."

Rosalie may have looked at him as seriously as she could, but there was an undeniable glint of Emmett-like mischief in her eyes. "By _food_ you mean corn-chips and protein powder, don't you?"

"I got you apples too, jeez."

She laughed lightly and rolled her eyes. "Fine then..."

He smiled gently at her, an almost too-intimate gesture which made Alice turn her stare down to her hands in embarrassment. It was silly to think it, but she wanted someone to look at her like that one day. It wouldn't happen though - she knew it deep down to the pit of her stomach.

"So... Alice..." Emmett wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and grinned wildly. He didn't need to say any more.

_Great. The megaphone has caught wind of the rumour... _Any placid thoughts she had had moments before suddenly diminished into a sea of fiery red.

"No. Emmett. Just no."

He laughed at her predictable short fuse and then got straight down to the purpose of his visit. "I'm skipping my last two classes, you coming with?" he asked Rosalie. "I just have to go tell Jazzy something first."

"It better not be about this stupid rumour!" Alice interjected, paranoia getting the better of her as she heard some girls stifling their gossiping giggles nearby.

"Nah," he dismissed casually with the shake of a hand, "he already knows about it. He's trying to find out who started it."

Alice would believe that when he produced some concrete evidence.

Rosalie thought about Emmett's proposal for a moment, but Alice could tell from their body language that they were itching to get out of school and onto a couch. That is, if they made it out of the backseat of the car.

The whole concept of lust and being overcome by it was so lost on Alice. Sure, she knew the mechanics, and she knew that it affected some select peers of hers, but she wondered how you could ever be reduced to such primitive behaviour. What could possibly make you surrender all rational control to basal instincts? She didn't empathise at all. No one had ever made her feel like she just wanted to rip her clothes off in front of them, and she didn't think that she ever would think like that.

It just didn't make sense to her and, she added dejectedly, it most likely wouldn't.

Pushing the thoughts aside, she was just grateful that the two love bugs sitting opposite her were going to wait until the end of lunch to disappear so she wouldn't be a total loner.

"Where is he?" Rosalie asked, looking around the cafeteria for her cousin.

"My spidey senses tell me that he's on the baseball field."

The joke would have been laughable had Alice not just realised that she and Jasper would be the _only_ two in Psychology next period.

...

"Surprise!" Miss S declared, "Today, I'm handing out a major assignment. You are going to have a week of class time to use as you like, and nearly three weeks at home. It's due two weeks from Friday. And, to top it all off, it's worth a significant portion of your final mark."

For the third time that week, the class groaned in disapproval.

"The good news is that it is a group assignment – you must work in pairs on this one, _no exceptions_. I'll give you all a minute to pair up while I hand out the assignment sheets. Since there is an even number of you here today, I want everyone paired off by the time I've finished. Once everyone has a sheet, we'll run through it together as a class."

She began on the other side of the room amongst the chattering students.

_Great_, Alice thought, _it had to be the day that Bella was absent_. She sat at her table, staring out the window so as not to draw attention to the fact that she was the only one not talking to someone. At least she had a partner to work with and wouldn't be the odd one left over at the end of class.

Jasper also didn't make a move to 'buddy up' with another student, and so she assumed he would work with Emmett. He was texting away furiously under the table.

Unfortunately, Miss S didn't have the same idea. When she came around to Alice's table, placing an assignment sheet down, she paused. "Who are you working with, Alice?" she asked.

Alice looked up at her timidly. "Bella."

Miss S pursed her lips and turned to Jasper sitting at the table in front. "And you, Jasper?"

He leaned his head back as far as he could go to regard the teacher. "Emmett."

Miss S looked at them pointedly. "I need you to pair up with someone who is here today."

Alice's heart stopped and fell to the bottom of her stomach.

"Why?" Jasper asked, concern entering into his casual tone.

She handed him an assignment sheet, not moving her feet from her spot. "Today, we are actually going to complete one part of the assessment and those who aren't here will get a zero for this particular section. So you _must_ pair up with someone who is here today or you will already have lost a grade."

That declaration hardly seemed like something easy-going Miss S would say, but she justified her stern demand by saying that these types of assignments determined who would do well when it came to college acceptance time. It weeded out those who couldn't be bothered coming to all the necessary classes, she claimed.

"I don't really think you want to instantly lose ten percent of your mark because of an absent partner, do you?" Miss S asked, directing the question at Jasper in particular.

Alice did the math quickly in her head, and she was willing to sacrifice those marks if she could work with Bella. After all, there was still 90 per cent of the marks left to earn.

Jasper, on the other hand, looked like he was seriously contemplating pairing up with someone else.

"I suggest you find a partner, quickly," Miss S warned, making her way towards the front of the room.

Alice looked around the room in a panic, knowing that if Jasper didn't stick to his guns to partner with Emmett, she would have to find someone else too. And by the looks of things, she was running out of options at lightning speed.

With another look around the room, it was confirmed that she was out of options.

Miss S made her way back to the front of the room, leaning against her desk as she scanned the room. "Is there anyone without a partner?" she asked, pairing off every student with the movements of her eyes. When she had gone through the entire class mentally, she turned to look at Alice and Jasper towards the back.

She knew that the two wouldn't pair up, but she knew that Jasper needed the extra points more than anyone in the room. It was her job to make sure that he got them, and Alice was probably the closest to equalling him with marks. "Alice, Jasper, I will make this easier for you: you two are partners. There you go."

Instantly, there was a quiet buzz of amusement around the classroom.

Alice blinked a few times, disbelieving the words that had just spilled to every corner of the room. If it hadn't of been for the excited whispers and hushed giggles around her, she would have sworn that she'd imagined it.

How else could something so ghastly become a reality?

Jasper was first to respond to the order, looking at his guffawing classmates to his left before to Miss S. "But..." he protested, much to the delight of everyone else. "She'll kill me!"

For a change, Alice agreed completely. "Yeah. I will!"

Miss S looked unimpressed by their bickering, but everyone knew that she had expected that exact reaction. "You're partners."

Alice slumped down in her seat, too drained of coherent thought to do anything else. She couldn't even manage to think about what Miss S said next. All that swam around in her head were the numerous future arguments she was going to have with Jasper (most, she added unwillingly, would be started by herself), the hours she would need to spend with him, and the amount of work she was going to have to do on her own.

Moreover, she was now being forced to co-operate with the one person she had had the guts to defend herself against.

A sarcastic "great" just didn't seem to cut it.

She didn't know what was going on in that instant, the blood still pumping furiously to her face in her silent rage, but Jasper made a move to get up from his table. He gathered his books, pivoted on the spot, and literally dumped them in a heap next to Alice.

Now they had to sit next to each other.

He nudged Alice gently in the back as he came around to sit next to her. "Earth to Wonderland," he mumbled quietly as he brushed past.

"_What_?" she hissed.

"You totally just ignored Miss S when she asked you to move seats. Lucky for you, I've got your back, _partner_."

Alice dared to flick her glare towards him. It was bad enough that she had to face her 'demons' – as it were – but now he appeared to be pleased by the whole debacle.

He smiled to himself and then turned to read what the teacher was writing on the board up the front. There wasn't much to read, but it was an excuse not to look at one another.

"Look," he said all of a sudden. "I just want to get through this assignment, and I want to get a good mark. Let's call a truce – at least for the next few weeks." He turned and looked at her.

_Take the deal, Alice. Take the deal! _"No way!" she replied, her pride getting the better of her. "How do I know that you won't attack me while my defences are down?"

He held up his hands innocently. "If I do, you have my permission to come at me full force."

"I don't need your permission – I'd do it anyway."

"I believe that..." he grumbled, toying with the pen in his hands blindly. "So waddaya say?"

Alice squared her shoulders involuntarily, knowing the ball was in her court, and directed her eyes to the board again. "I'll think about it."

He nodded slowly.

_God, Alice, you're such an idiot_, she thought to herself. _You had peace on a silver platter and you just spat on it! What is wrong with you, woman?_

"So, as I've already explained to a few people in here, we are beginning the assignment today. This first section won't take long at all, but it is worth ten percent of the final mark. The other 90 percent is an _empirical research activity_. Part A of the assignment is a mini-ERA worksheet which will hopefully refresh your memory about the format and layout of the paper itself. You need to finish it today, and if I don't receive it before the end of class, you receive a zero for part A. Alright?"

Although she had ended with a rhetorical question, another class clown replied with an overly loud and sarcastic "Yeah!" from the back of the room.

"Excellent," Miss S mimicked with equal amounts of sarcasm. "I'm coming to hand out the worksheet, so make sure you get started as soon as you get it. It shouldn't take more than half an hour. Oh, and I'll hand back your pop quizzes too."

Miss S began handing out sheets, answering the numerous questions that were already being thrown her way by nervous students.

When she came past Alice and Jasper and slid the piece of paper on to the desk, neither of the two so much as batted an eyelash at her. The two were going to drive each other insane, Miss S predicted, but she also had a strong feeling that they would produce the best and most well-researched assignment.

Jasper was the first to make a move when the teacher walked away, reaching over effortlessly to pull the sheet towards him.

He took the page and appeared to innocently write their names at the top, as if trying to coax Alice into starting the assignment with him. Except, when Alice looked over at it from the corner of her eye, she saw that he had written 'Mad as a Hatter' instead of her name. Impulsively, she snatched the assignment sheet away and scribbled his name out, replacing it with a bold 'Blondie Four-Eyes'.

He then took it back in silence, accepting the challenge in her eyes by narrowing his slightly, and added some more to her name. She repeated his actions.

In the end, their real names were replaced with descriptive pseudonyms: _Mad as a Hatter short-stack_ and _Blondie Four-eyes is missing a pair_.

As they read through the first question in an unsaid agreement of silence, Jasper thought he'd take the opportunity to enlighten her on what his sleuthing during lunch had uncovered.

"You may be interested to know," he said. "I found out who started the rumour."

"You mean it actually wasn't you?!"

In a split second, he gauged her reaction as sincere and concluded that she hadn't been the perpetrator. So, as it turned out, the nauseating flirting with the preppy cheerleaders at lunch had actually been worth it. "No. It was Eric."

"What?!" Alice all but squealed, hunching her shoulders self-consciously when others turned around to look at her. After a moment, she turned her glare to the front left corner of the classroom where she knew Eric usually sat. He was conveniently engrossed in conversation with his partner.

Jasper could imagine the daggers she was throwing at him in her mind - he had been victim to them quite a few times already.

"Well, my sources tell me it was because he wanted to make you so mad at me," he boasted, "that you would say yes to him when he asked you to prom."

Alice would have balked there, but she couldn't let such a trivial fact make her giddy: someone actually wanted to ask her to the prom. That was the first time that had ever happened, and Alice was sure that it was never going to happen again. _Don't act surprised, stay cool. Don't let him know you're that desperate._ She blinked once, in shock, and regained her composure. "That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard."

"Okay, good," Jasper breathed, leaning back in his chair. "I thought I was the only one."

"I thought _you_ started it," she said, looking back over at Eric to try and catch his attention. "It seemed like something you would say."

"I think that was the point. Besides, if _I_ had made it up, we would've been doing more than just making out in the parking lot."

"That's comforting to know." Suddenly Eric peered over his shoulder at Alice and she took the opportunity to grab his attention by smiling poisonously at him.

If she had told herself six months ago that she would be publicly refusing someone's genuine offer to take her to prom, she would have checked herself into an insane asylum. There was no way in hell she ever would have had the courage to stand up to a peer, let alone reject one. Her social status would never have allowed for that kind of misconduct.

Yet, in spite of that, Jasper's words just resounded in her head and gave her the boost she needed. She ran her finger across her neck like a knife, letting him know in one single action that he did not have a date to prom and he would be lucky to even make it there if her mood didn't improve. His face turned to chalk and he waved awkwardly before turning back to his worksheet.

Jasper, beside her, lit up with amusement and began laughing senselessly at the exchange. He thought it was hilarious that someone so small could be so intimidating and had to place his head on the table from the lack of oxygen. The girl definitely had guts.

She shoved his heaving shoulders as hard as she could, hoping to push him to the floor or something dramatic like that. It didn't work; he just turned his head to look at her quizzically.

Alice removed her hand when she realised that she was comparing the hardness of his arms to the size of the muscles she had seen a few times through his jersey cotton shirts. That was not normal.

In contrast to her thoughts, she added an irritated "shut up" to cover any traces of her perverted mind.

"Yes, _Godfather_," Jasper replied in his best Mario-and-Luigi Italian accent.

"Shut it, or tonight you sleep with the fishes."

"Do I get my kiss of death first?"

She pushed him again and, this time, the chair started to tip. He had to grab hold of the edge of the bench to stabilise himself. He laughed after the initial shock of it dissipated. She didn't.

Miss S came along and put Alice's marked quiz paper face down on the table. "Play nice," she warned the two.

Alice, curious to find out how she did on the test earlier in the week, flipped the page over in haste. Circled in red ink was a quickly scrawled 82 and a messy 'well done' beneath it. An 82 was definitely a good mark in Alice's books, considering that she hadn't known of an impending test.

"Huh," Jasper said. Alice whipped her head to look at him to find him staring down at her paper. She folded it in half. "Not bad."

"Mind your own business, _Blondie_."

"Yes, your highness... We should get started on this sheet. It looks pretty easy..."

They got started and began answering the questions. Oddly enough and much to Alice's shock, there was no bickering over the first two answers. He had contributed just as much as she had.

They were discussing the possible answers for the next question when Jasper's pop quiz found itself to the middle of their desk.

He picked it nonchalantly, peering quickly at the mark and then turning back to their assignment.

All being fair in war, Alice snatched the test paper off of him. He grabbed it back, but not before she had caught sight of the mark he'd received.

As if nothing had happened, he turned back to the question at hand, a slight flush appearing on his face. "This definition is missing a keyword..."

She wasn't going to let her enemy know how much she knew, she wanted to find out if Jasper had legitimately received a 100 on his test or not.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so this didn't come out quite as funny as I'd hoped, but I can now unleash a little madness since the two are now paired together. What kind of antics could these two possibly get up to when forced to co-operate...?<strong>

**Until next time!**


	9. Pretences

**A/N:** Waddup?! *skilfully dodges axes thrown at head*

Yep, it's been a long time. I know. It has been driving me nuts not to get this baby on the road again, so I sat myself down and forced myself to complete this chapter, my motivation finding its way back with every sentence I wrote. This is the result.

Not sure if I've mentioned it before or not, but you can follow me on Twitter (_enchanted_mind - -I'll follow you back). I am so far beyond a noob at Twitter that there hasn't been a word invented for me, but I do know how to tweet and follow people, so get on that!

Anyway, to make up for being really AWOL the last couple of months (uni just drained the life out of me and I had very little time and motivation to do anything else, unfortunately), I decided to make this chapter a bit (_read:_ nearly double the length) longer than usual.  
>Enjoy!<p>

* * *

><p>Jasper slid down to the ground, the hands on either side of his head acting as a vice so his skull wouldn't explode.<p>

He was suddenly coming to realisations that he didn't want to: there was no way he could keep all of this up. For a start, his cover had been blown at school when Alice saw his quiz paper. People were going to find out he was smart and then there suddenly would be expectations of him. He hated that. He just wanted to be an underdog and work at his own pace when no one was looking. He liked it when people expected nothing of him. It seemed petty and illogical to others, but it made perfect sense to him.

As a result, he'd already rehearsed the conversation he'd have with Alice when he begged her not to say anything about his marks. When he came to his senses after stubbing his toe on a chair leg, the notion of approaching her about it was abolished. Such an act of weakness would give her invaluable ammunition and he knew that she was game enough to use it.

The next problem weighing him down stemmed from the first: he really needed to be Valedictorian. Jasper had finally realised that he wanted to keep his options open when it came to college. He just didn't want people to know until it was absolutely necessary.

Especially Rosalie.

Then, to top it all off, Maria was suddenly contacting him again. The last thing Jasper needed was a certifiably insane and disgruntled ex-girlfriend wanting to get him involved in all kinds of antics again. He couldn't tell her _no_ as forcibly as he'd like to because the fact was, Maria had extremely dangerous relations.

With all of this in his path, he was already upstream without a paddle. Then he had to think about the group assignment had been handed out, and suddenly, with this extra bit of responsibility, he was brutally thrown over a waterfall. At first, he was most concerned about the fact that he wasn't paired with Emmett. Essentially, it meant that he was actually going to have to hand over some of the reins and only do half of the work. Judging by what she got on her pop quiz, he knew he could do a lot worse than working with Alice.

That was when he started to change his tune a little and decided that maybe working with Alice would be alright. That is, if she didn't kill him before the deadline.

The very thought scared him a little. He knew he liked her, she was cute and feisty – a killer combination in his opinion -, but she made him say and do things that he didn't always think through. He always needed to be on edge around her, to try and get one step ahead of her wit. It was exhausting.

But, secretly, he loved it.

Against the raging storm banging up against the inside of his head, Jasper faintly heard his mother call out into the house that dinner was ready.

He wasn't in the least bit hungry.

His older cookie-cutter brother, Peter, had come to stay with them for the week from college, and he had brought his girlfriend Charlotte too. That meant that they were having proper, formal dinners every night and respectful conversation was a given. Such pretences were a little stifling, especially when he had so many other things hovering over his head.

All that Peter talked about nowadays was his grades, job prospects, and whatever new fact he'd memorised from his law textbook. Jasper loved his brother, but he was far too much of a straight line to be interesting.

He much preferred psychotic characters and childish mayhem, which was why he was friends with Emmett.

"Hey shithead," Peter crooned affectionately. "Dinner's ready."

Rather than bite back with an insult, Jasper just mumbled uncharacteristically. "Okay."

There was a moment of stillness when Peter was going to walk off, but he thought better of it at the last minute. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. Go away."

Peter understood the tone, noting that there was absolutely no Jasper-esque humour or mischief lying beneath, and continued on his way downstairs without another word. Jasper assumed he would begin quizzing Esme about his disposition, and he was not looking forward to them trying to covertly decipher it through a series of round-a-bout questions at the table.

Sure enough, when he listened closely enough in the silence, he heard Peter ask generally into the living room downstairs, "What's wrong with Jasper?"

Jasper sighed and stood up, straightening the hoodie bunched around his neck. He swiped his phone of the desk on his way out, stuffing it deep into his pocket, and followed Peter's movements down the unlit staircase.

His footsteps were not as weightless as they normally were, the sound only muffled by the carpet beneath as he trudged down each step. The deep worry lines on his face were highlighted as he moved closer to the light downstairs, reflecting the millions of nonsensical thoughts whizzing around in his head.

To anyone who didn't know him any better, he looked miserable.

"Come on, Jazz," Carlisle called jovially when he saw the bottom half of his son's body appear from across the room.

Jasper instinctively went to jump down the rest of the stairs for the sake of expedience – force of habit from being a 'rascal of a kid' – but remembered that they had company and that he was seventeen. The thought of it had at least distracted him momentarily from everything else.

The others were all gathering around the candle-lit table, fussing over who would sit next to who. There was no point - Jasper thought internally- because they'd end up in the same seats as yesterday. Again, with the pretences. He went over, past the all fussing, and took his usual seat on the opposite side of the table. The others followed his lead momentarily.

Sure enough, everyone was in their usual spot.

"Where's Emmett, Jasper? I almost thought he'd be here," Peter asked as Esme set a plate down in front of him.

Jasper peered up at him, around the vase of fresh white flowers in the centre. "Probably inside Rosalie..."

"_Jasper_!" Esme scolded, horrified at the blunt observation he had made public.

But, it was too late - the two brothers were chortling immaturely before Jasper had even finished his sentence. Esme half-expected a whoopee cushion to be produced in their fit of humour, knowing her two boys as she did, but she dared not say anything for fear of planting a seed.

"Boys," Carlisle calmly mediated from the head of the table. If you looked closely, you could see a hint of a suppressed smirk, "settle down."

Charlotte elbowed Peter beside him and hissed his name quietly. Jasper watched as she, metaphorically, grabbed his brother by the balls and cleanly neutered him right at the dinner table. Apparently it wasn't proper to say such things in front of your parents, and he suddenly knew so without even needing to be told. _Talk about being whipped, _Jasper mused_._

Peter really wanted to be an author – he even held his shoulders out proudly as if posing for his head-shot at all times - but knew that money would be an issue unless he became famous. Carlisle and Esme had never put pressure on either of their children to go to Ivy League colleges and become doctors and lawyers - they had always only supported being happy - but, Peter perceived that there were certain expectations and wanted to live up to them. So, he was studying to become a lawyer. Jasper did empathise to a degree, but he personally would never sacrifice himself that far for the sake of society. That's where they differed and that's where Jasper just did not understand his older brother.

"How long until your exams, Jasper?" Peter asked, picking up his knife and fork.

Without giving any thought to it, he replied nonchalantly. "Dunno and don't care."

Then, a moment too late, Jasper realised that Peter was just looking for a way to bring up his own superiority when it came to academia. He suspected that the next point to be raised would be something along the lines of Jasper not understanding or appreciating the importance of senior year, taking a stab at his ego. Then he would proceed to recite his own marks from earlier highschool years and probably mention the fact that he had been Valedictorian.

Peter put the first piece of steak in his mouth, ignoring decorum by speaking while chewing. "You should..."

_How predictable_.

"If you want to earn decent money, you have to go the right college and mix with good people."

"_Good people_?" Jasper cried, staring incredulously across the table. "Could you _be_ any more pretentious?"

Peter grinned, but not with much humour. "That's a big word for you..."

_Great_, Jasper thought, _it's going to be one of those conversations_. He had enough doubt in his own mind about his grades as it was, he didn't need ignorant Peter Perfect to embellish it.

His leg suddenly twitched with an idea, one that would move the focus away from him for the rest of the night. Guaranteed.

Pursing his lips as discreetly as he could, he held back his impish grin and suppressed any laughter that may escape during the execution. "All this talk of exams and grades and graduation..." he murmured quietly, looking down at his hands as he laid his cutlery down sombrely. He knew Esme and Carlisle had been worried about the pressure he was under, so he was all-for playing the cards he was dealt. He looked up at them all through his lashes, keeping his shoulders hunched vulnerably, and then exploded into the quiet. "I just want to be a stripper! That's it."

The table fell into an awkward silence, crickets chirping in the backyard and all. They were genuinely confused about what to think. Jasper didn't think much of his own acting, but he was a damn good liar and it was a trait he was all too happy to utilise where necessary. His dream of becoming a stripper may have been a complete (or nearly complete) lie, but he knew his reputation made it a believable. He tried curling his hand subtly into as tight of a fist as possible, trying to override the pain in his ribs as he held in his laughter. It worked, enough to keep up the facade, but he had some seriously stiff knuckles to deal with moments later.

"Emmett and I have got a plan and everything..."

"Aha..." Peter mumbled, unimpressed.

"What does that mean?" Jasper snapped. "You're the last person who should be judging."

"Do you even know what's required in being a stripper?"

"Do you? Besides, I'm _pretty_ - I could make a good living out of it. I've even been practicing my small talk," Jasper said. This was the part of the plan that would get Peter to stop picking on him. "Listen: You know, I was thinking about the origins of nursery rhymes the other day... It's interesting what they actually mean. For example, ring-a-ring a roses is really a description of symptoms of the Black Death," he restricted his grin as his eyes locked with Peter's. "And then, my personal favourite: _Peter, peter, sausage eater, had a wife, but couldn't keep her_."

"It's _pumpkin_, Jazz," Peter replied, feigning boredom. "Do your research."

"Oh, is it?" Jasper feigned equal innocence, tilting his head to the side ever-so slightly in mischief. "How do you figure that?"

Whenever Peter began to play his tall-poppy card, Jasper liked to poke fun at the fact that his brother was a closet gay. His parents didn't know, and Jasper wasn't supposed to. But, he did. As such, Peter was always mindful whenever Jasper hinted at revealing the secret. It was like a never-ending get-out-of-jail-free card.

Jasper, of course, loved Peter, but he didn't understand his way of thinking most of the time. He didn't understand how someone could keep up such a huge pretence for no good reason. Esme and Carlisle certainly wouldn't have had a problem with Peter being gay, and society was generally accepting of the fact too. Peter was the only one who saw a problem with it because if he was gay, he was no longer the pin up for the American dream.

It seemed like such a huge sacrifice for something so artificial.

Carlisle coughed into the uncomfortable lull, suspecting a bluff on Jasper's behalf but not enough so to call it. "Peter, did you check out that old bar I told you about?"

"I did," Peter replied, tucking back into his food as if nothing had happened.

Charlotte wiped her mouth politely and giggled lightly. "That's where Peter and I met, actually."

Peter nodded, also wiping his mouth with the napkin. "She was having drinks with this obnoxious guy a year above us, but he didn't last long..."

"No, he didn't..."

Charlotte's hand went over to Peter's forearm, a smitten smile covering her face. She squeezed it affectionately and he returned the gesture by placing his opposite hand on hers.

"Why? Did you beat the crap out of him?" Jasper asked, aiming to spoil the mood as best as he could.

Peter scowled at him, ready to bite back with something colourful, Jasper imagined, but Charlotte interjected first. "There was no need," she said, smiling up at him. "I noticed Peter as soon as he walked in."

Jasper made a gagging sound at the lovey-dovey, scripted conversation. When Peter glared at him, he pretended to be choking on his food.

Charlotte wasn't convinced by his theatrics, but she didn't take offence. She thought Jasper was amusing, in a young rogue kind of way. "And what about you, Jasper? Do you have a girlfriend?"

The conversation officially had its throat slit at that precise moment, and all sounds around them stopped. Peter instantly leaned over and whispered something to Charlotte, to which she raised a hand to her mouth apologetically.

Again, the awkward silence stifled the air around them.

Esme jumped into the ring, deflecting the question before it could be pressed any further. "You know, today I heard a four year old say the funniest thing..."

Jasper just silently chewed the remaining meat in his mouth, ignoring the flimsy attempt at redirecting the conversation. Everyone close to the Whitlocks knew that _dating_ and _girlfriends_ had become touchy subjects ever since the nightmare that was Maria. Although Jasper felt like he had recovered enough from the debacle that the subject didn't need to be tiptoed around, others didn't feel the same. That in itself was frustrating.

"Can I be excused?" he asked. He had better things to be doing than pretending to be a wannabe-stripper for the next hour.

"Since when do you ask for permission?" Peter quipped, trying to lighten the mood.

Carlisle, ignoring his eldest son, and acknowledging that certain buttons had been pushed, just nodded at Jasper.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he made his way back upstairs.

**...**

"_Aww... shit,"_ Emmett's voice whined from the receiver. Jasper had just informed him of exactly what he had missed in class that day, noting he was not as upset as he should have been. Sex did that to people. _"I'll make it up to you: study party here tomorrow night. Everyone can come."_

"That doesn't make up for it!" Jasper cried, staring up at the ceiling from the comfort of his bed. "What happened to bros over hoes?"

"_Well..." _Emmett paused a moment,_ "You really should be thanking me."_

Jasper's brow shot up quizzically. "Did Rose blow your brains out or something? What does that mean?"

"_You like her, she likes you. She is probably the one chick I haven't seen you turn your nose up at since Mar- well, you know who. Now you get to be study buddies for this assignment, if you know what I mean."_

"Emmett. No."

"_You can't tell me that you don't want to tap that..."_

"I probably could..." he replied, sitting up.

Emmett didn't respond immediately, and when he did, his voice sounded a lot closer and clearer. _"Bullshit."_

Jasper wriggled over to sit on the edge of his bed. "You had me on loudspeaker, didn't you?" When there was no immediate response, he tried again. "Rosalie better not be there..."

"_I was shaving..._" he improvised. "_And what do you mean-_?"

There was a knock at Jasper's door, tearing his attention away from Emmett. He turned his head slightly to look in its direction, choosing to take that opportunity to end the conversation now that he had thoroughly guilt-tripped his so-called best friend.

"I'll be there tomorrow," and he hung up before Emmett could respond.

Jasper waited a moment, looking at the door for any sign of movement. Nothing happened, and just as he was about to invite in whoever it was, it cracked open. Carlisle poked his head in, doing a quick once over of the room. "Can I come in?"

"Sure..."

He walked over towards the bed, closing the door softly behind him. "Principal Hubert called me today," he began, eyeing his son off pointedly.

Jasper rolled his eyes; they had had this conversation many times, enough times for it to run on auto-pilot. "I didn't do it..."

Carlisle laughed gently, moving to sit on the edge of the bed with Jasper. "I believe congratulations are in order."

Jasper's face dropped. That wasn't the conversation that he had been expecting. It definitely was not the conversation he wanted to be having just yet. He stared straight ahead, choosing to focus on the gold doorhandle to his wardrobe. "Great."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

It was best to play the indifferent teenager card, Jasper guessed. So, he just shrugged his shoulders.

Carlisle laughed again, dropping his head to look at the clasped hands in his lap. "Just when I think I have you figured out, you do something that completely surprises me..."

Jasper just looked at his father out of the corner of his eye. He hadn't told anyone that he was in line to be Valedictorian because he wasn't sure it was a title he wanted to bear. He didn't want other peoples' perception of him to be altered. He liked being an underdog because there was no pressure to perform.

"Don't you want to be Valedictorian?"

"I... don't know..."

Carlisle let out all the air in his lungs. "It's a very big honour... and you've worked so hard for it. You deserve it." He looked over at his son to see if he could work out why he was keeping such an achievement a secret. The mention of working hard for it seemed to put a little life back into him, but not enough to follow it as a lead. There was something else holding Jasper back, and he didn't want to see it get the better of him. "Do you think this will interfere with your plans to become a stripper?"

Jasper cracked a smile, but Carlisle still hadn't found the answer.

"It is something that certainly would help you get into college, Jazz. Are you worried about that?"

_Bingo_. A blank calmness washed over Jasper's face at the question, and while it may not be the whole explanation to the secret keeping, it was a starting point.

"When Peter did all his applications, he was just as scared. I don't think his GPA was as high as yours, but look how many acceptances he got-"

"I don't want to be like him..."

Carlisle wasn't sure of what exactly it was that Jasper was referring to, but it was probably going too far to try and find out. "You and Peter are not alike. _At all_. I know you would never do anything that you didn't want to."

Jasper went to respond, and then realised what had just been said. "Wait... You know about law school?"

"Of course I know... But he's happy doing it. If _not_ doing what he wants is what makes him happy in some sort of sadistic way, then that's fine."

"No wonder people think he's weird..."

Carlisle nudged Jasper with his elbow and let out a small laugh with his son. "Look, I know that _you know_ that we are incredibly proud of you no matter what you do," he said, reaching over and placing a hand. He placed a kiss on his forehead, the way he did when Jasper was a child. "Except when you get suspended for releasing frogs in the cafeteria – that's not cool."

"_Not cool_?"

"I can speak your language."

"Dad, no."

**...**

"What's wrong with you?"

Jasper turned to Emmett, remembering to drop everything serious that he could possibly be thinking about so his face would resemble a comedian. "Nothing compared to you."

"Hardy-hardy-ha-ha, it makes jokes too!" Emmett replied, his tone flatter than Mike Newton's very new nose. "What time are you coming over?"

"You tell me."

He thought a moment, but then just shrugged. The answer was always the same. "Just come straight over after school... We'll go get supplies."

Bella weaselled her way into the conversation at hearing their plan, stopping folding the edges of her notebook in boredom. "Oh, so we're not going to be making cocktails out of ketchup and vodka for dinner again, are we? That was so appetising..."

"Your sarcasm is not wanted," Emmett said, swivelling around in his seat. "And you loved it, don't lie."

Jasper cracked up and Bella's face turned into a glowing radiator. Alice, sitting beside her as usual, didn't understand the joke, but she didn't feel right asking about it since Jasper might misconstrue it as an interest in him.

"So... tonight, we've got _me, you, Rose, pipsqueak_-"

"Excuse me?" Alice interjected, but Emmett ignored her.

"...Bells, and..." he trailed off, looking at Jasper nervously. Jasper just shrugged in return and the two turned to peer at Bella. "Uh, quick question... Don't take this the wrong way, but if you're there tonight, will Edward be coming?" Emmett asked.

She sighed heavily, a certain shade of misery colouring her cheeks. "I don't know..."

Jasper, in contrast, laughed. "You're amongst friends now, you can tell us: he's not adequate, is he?"

"Jazz..."Bella warned, tapping her pen against the tabletop.

Emmett sniggered like an evil villain, biting on to the conversation like a hungry fish. "You can bring Jacob instead if you really want..."

"You guys suck," she grumbled, putting her head on the table.

Though she knew that the three had a long-standing camaraderie that allowed for personal attacks here and there, she didn't like seeing it happen to one of her closest friends. It hit a little too close to home for her liking.

She placed a hand on Bella's back gently. "They're just trying to find someone who makes them feel better about themselves. Apparently, no luck."

"Hey!" Emmett cried.

Bella cracked a wide grin under her curtain of long hair and let a small giggle escape.

"Thin ice, Mad Hatter," Jasper said, pointing seriously at her.

She grinned triumphantly back at him. "And...?"

"It's an official warning – and I don't give those out often."

Alice raised her hands to her mouth theatrically and pretended to bite her nails in fear.

Emmett nudged Jasper beside him. "Dude, she's mocking you."

"Really?" he said, in an equally sardonic tone. "I hadn't noticed."

As Miss S called the boisterous class to order, Emmett and Jasper turned back around to face the whiteboard like the good students that they were not.

"I'll pick you up at six?" Bella asked, smiling sympathetically at Alice.

She smiled back. "Thanks."

This was going to be her first study party. Hopefully it would play out better than her first high school party.

**...**

By seven, the two girls were walking up the porch steps to the front door of Emmett's house. Alice thanked the heavens that Bella had been smart enough to see that Alice had no clue how to prepare for their study parties. When she had arrived, Alice appeared to be ready with a heavy library book and laptop in tow, but without spare clothing and pyjamas. After a few non-intrusive questions, Bella politely explained that this would be at least a one night sleepover and not a lot of studying would be done.

So, basically, this was a scaled-down party with a planned sleepover.

At realising her rookie mistake, Alice dashed back up to her apartment and packed a small bag. She threw the laptop and book in there anyway, just so she had something to do if they all got blind drunk before she could sleep. Then she raced back down to Bella waiting in her truck and they took off.

As the front door cracked open, Emmett appeared from behind, wearing nothing but a white apron and holding a tray of small cups. Jasper was laughing hysterically somewhere in the house.

"No shot, no entry," Emmett declared, bringing the tray forward for the girls to see.

Bella looked at Alice. "I warned you," she laughed.

Alice immediately congratulated herself on her alcohol experimentation over the previous weeks. After the party where Jasper made a complete fool out of her, she scrimped some money together and bought two bottles of the cheapest wine she could find with her fake ID from her old school. Based on the alcohol content, she had tried different amounts to see how much she could handle. Really, all she learned was that the wine was cheap for a reason, but now she knew that she wouldn't be on the floor after one measly drink.

They each took their shot, downed its contents, and moved past Emmett, into the living room.

Jasper was sitting on the same ivory couch that he had the night he called her a virgin in front of everyone, casually draping his arms across the back. It was a miracle that it wasn't stained from all the drink spilling that went on.

Rosalie was seated with her back towards them, her perfect blonde hair braided loosely over her shoulder. It almost made Alice miss her own long hair, but she knew that her shoulder-length do was there for all the right reasons.

Emmett manoeuvred his way between the two, placing an arm over their shoulders. "Everybody's here! Now we can part-ay."

"One of your ideas, I suppose?" Bella joked, gesturing her head towards the nudist on her left.

Jasper grinned like a five-year old who had just won his first trophy. "Give him some credit," he said as he stood up, reaching over and taking Bella and Alice's bags from their grasp. "He is capable of humiliating himself without my help."

Without even being prompted, he carried their bags over to the corner where everybody else had stationed their belongings for the night.

"Pizza will be here in an hour," Emmett said. "So, we have drinks and time to kill until then. Got any ideas for games?"

Alice had never been this close to a practically naked man before. It, honestly, scared the bejeezus out of her. And that worried her further because she was pretty sure that she was supposed to be attracted to that sort of thing at her age.

"That's your job as host, Em," Bella said, smiling tightly at him. It was plain to see on her face that his comedy was pretty much lost on her. She had more important things on her mind.

When news had broken out about who she had gotten mono from (which, hint, it was not Edward), things had gone sour between the two. Naturally. Jasper had said that Edward threw a rather girly hissy fit when news reached them, but he was not a reliable source in Alice's books and so that was unconfirmed. Nonetheless, Edward had been noticeably absent from the group ever since.

"What about you?" Emmett asked, turning his head to look down at Alice. "Got any ideas?"

Alice tried to look at him, but she couldn't. He was naked, and she wasn't comfortable with it. She tried not to let it show – it would reek of innocence – but she knew she probably had a slight blush on her face. She just shook her head quickly and ducked out of his embrace.

Jasper came and sat back in his spot, watching the scene unfold before him.

The two girls looked a little far beyond ease, and he had a feeling that he knew why. "Dude, put your pants back on - Bella's already in trouble for cheating on Edward!"

"Ah," Emmett acknowledged his state of undress by looking down. "Sorry, Bells," and he scuttled off (forgetting that the back half of him was _not_ covered by the apron) into the kitchen.

Bella eyed Jasper before opening her mouth. "Uhh... Thanks, Jazz?"

He smiled, feigning obliviousness. "You're welcome."

She walked around the sofa, picked up a cushion, and made her way to the floor opposite Rosalie. Assuming Emmett would sit next to Rosalie, that left only a space next to Jasper for Alice to sit. He saw her calculating the monstrous seating arrangements and then tapped the space next to him. "I saved you a seat," he said.

"Is there a whoopee cushion under there that I should look for?" she asked, taking the longest route possible around the room towards him.

He reflected on her accusation for a moment, mouth turned down into a thoughtful pose. "Damn..." he eventually said, sounding sorely disappointed. The girls all looked at him. "That would've been a really good idea..."

Alice sat down on the furthest cushion from him, leaning as casually towards the armrest as she could manage.

"You _do_ think ahead..."

"It's only necessary about 110 per cent of the time in real life," she quipped.

"I don't," he insisted, staring back out at the window in front of them. "It distracts from the now."

Without thinking about what she was doing, she grabbed hold of her latest piece of ammunition. "You stole that from _The Incredibles_."

He stopped his bottle of beer mid-air and turned to look at her, completely intrigued. The other two didn't know what was going on, but Jasper was starting to see another facet to the Alice picture. "How did you know that?"

She was going to say that she was a huge fan of kids' animated movies, but thought better of it because that was lame. It was one way to instantly get incriminating graffiti on your locker, and drive potential friends away.

On the other hand, she had read in a magazine article once that the key to being attractive was to present something unique about yourself. People who had obscure interests were the ones you wanted to get to know better. Not that she wanted to Jasper to like her more, she just wanted to make sure everyone else thought she was interesting enough to hang around with.

So, she decided to take a less forthright approach. She knew that Jasper had to know the movie fairly well because the line he used was not a famous one. She would throw another quote back at him to show her knowledge, but decided to use a far more renowned quote from the fabulous Edna Mode in case her plan backfired. That way, she could claim she saw it on the internet somewhere.

"No capes."

"Oooh," he said, sitting up and taking note, "you like _The Incredibles_?"

"I like to think more broadly than that."

Jasper suddenly got a sense that she knew a lot more than she would ever let on. He had watched many of the films with his younger cousins, and so preferred them to many other films out there. He knew most of them better than other people his age would ever. He decided he'd test her, to see if this was one of those secretive things that made her tick. "_Mine_?"

"Finding Nemo," she replied without hesitating. "_Onions_?"

"Shrek."

"How do you guys know this stuff?" Bella interjected, watching the two as quizzically as Rosalie was.

Jasper just shrugged at here, and Alice just gawked at her feet. She kind of regretted saying anything now.

Emmett came out of the kitchen, putting a t-shirt on as he walked over to their little congregation. "What did I miss?"

Rosalie just continued staring at her cousin and the petite girl beside him with her brows furrowed. "The weirdest love-fest that I have ever seen."

Emmett just nodded, his eyes glittering with amusement. "Oh, I see."

"Tarzan!" the two of them called in unison.

Emmett looked to his left for a moment, and then back at the two. "Tuna fish!" he cried.

Jasper shook his head in confusion; not even he understood what his best friend could be saying. "Huh?"

"I thought we were yelling out random words..."

There was a general groan that came from all of them as they all sat back into whatever position was most comfortable. It took four whole Mississippis before the next person spoke.

"Alright! New topic," Rosalie declared, eyeing the two of them off. "Let's play truth or dare!"

Jasper sighed, and turned his body completely back towards the group. "You have no sense of creativity," he grumbled, drinking from his beer bottle again.

"You get creative _within_ the game, dingus. And just for that, you're first."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Gaaah! Truth or dare?! How many ways do you think this could possibly backfire? Or, not backfire, if you get what I mean... wink, wink.

Stay tuned!


	10. Truth or Dare (part 1)

**A/N:** I have been a busy bee making arrangements for my pending move from good old Oz to..._ drumroll please_... The US of A! Tadaaaaaaaa.  
>Okay, so it's probably not nearly as exciting for you as it is for me, but it's kept me busy nonetheless. Hence the gap in time (yet again, I know)<p>

Anyway, I'm trying to speed things along in this story to ensure a boredom-free read. So, hopefully, I've succeeded with this chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>"You get creative within the game, dingus. And just for that, you are going first."<em>

Jasper's expression didn't change as he thought about what his cousin had just said. Alice watched as something exchanged between the two, the crease in their brow clearly part of their blood. For a moment it seemed as if they were having a stand off. But, Jasper, unexpectedly, simply leaned up against the back of the sofa, beer in hand, and casually remarked that "Rose, you obviously want to know something. What is it?"

Rosalie just pouted slightly, but it was clear that Jasper had hit the nail on the head. "Nothing," she said.

"Mhmm," he replied under his breath.

In contrast to his expert indifference, Alice was mentally hyperventilating. She wasn't prepared for this. Short of being dared to do the hokey pokey on her own when she was six, her experiences with truth or dare were comparable to the number of blue flamingos in Australia: zero.

Did truth or dare really result in girls having to kiss each other? Was she going to be dared to strip down in front of them all? Were they the sort of people to encourage illegal activities? Should she have planned an emergency escape route?

Alice was sure then that the nausea was going to take over, her stomach feeling as though it did an actual flip-flop. What were they going to ask her to do? Could she keep up, or was this the point where they rejected her friendship for not being carefree enough?

"Jasper," Rosalie began, "are you still in contact with Maria?"

He tipped his head forward to look at her. "You didn't ask if I wanted to do a dare..."

"You don't. Now, answer the question."

He waited a moment, gnawing on his tongue, while the others sat, hungry for his response.

Rosalie suddenly looked at Alice to side-note that "Maria is Jasper's ex-girlfriend".

Alice nodded her head in understanding, though she'd already learned that somewhere along the line previously. Other than that, she didn't know much about this famed ex-girlfriend.

"Well?" She pushed again when her cousin didn't respond.

He sighed. "Kind of..."

The girls gasped quietly.

"Dude!" Emmett exclaimed. "_Why_?!"

Jasper just shook his head and took another sip, as if that would answer more questions than it created. "It would be stupid to not know where she is at all times. I can't avoid her if I don't know where she is..."

Emmett's bulging eyes retracted as his face dropped. Alice wished that she knew why. All that she could decipher was that Maria and Jasper had broken up a while ago and it hadn't been amicable. Apparently, that wasn't even the tip of the rocky-road sundae.

Jasper turned to look at Bella over by the coffee table, and Alice saw that he had done that thing with his face again where all traces of what had been there were now gone.

When he grinned at her, she rolled her eyes. "Truth."

"Who did you get mono from, exactly?"

"You know who..."

"Yep. But, we want to hear you say it."

Bella groaned. "Jacob. I went to visit him and he kissed me, okay?"

Jasper laughed, mostly to himself, because he knew that Edward was going to lose Bella if he didn't man up and give her what she wanted. She'd already begun to go astray because he refused to be anything but a nineteenth century gentleman. To each their own, he had to tell himself repeatedly.

Again, such pretences just didn't make sense to him.

Alice, on the other hand, barely paid attention to them. She was sure the ringing in her ears would cause permanent damage if she couldn't get a grip of herself. Apparently, these guys did not dance around any subject. What were they going to ask her? How blunt were they going to be about it?

By the time the heartbeat in her ears died down to only a mildly distracting thudding, the others had moved on and Bella had asked Emmett her question. "Have you and Rose ever filmed yourselves _in the moment_?"

Rosalie groaned and dove her face into the security of her hands.

"A sex tape?" Emmett clarified. "Sure, plenty of times. I have one on my phone right now."

At just his tone, Alice involuntarily cracked a real smile. It may have been beyond her understanding at how someone could so casually say something like that, but the lack of judgement from the others made her feel better about any forthcoming questions she may face.

"That's not even close to a secret!" Jasper whined.

"Too bad, so sad,"Emmett said quickly, dismissing his friend's disapproval. "Alice, the newbie... Truth _or dare_?"

She did the math. No one had done a dare yet, so she didn't know how far they went with them, and so far the truth questions had been about sex. If the decision were a seesaw, she needed the side with less baggage. "_Truth_..."

"If you had to pick between Mike Newton and Jasper, based on looks alone, who would it be?"

Bella giggled lightly and Jasper turned to watch for the answer.

Truthfully, to be completely honest with herself, it was Jasper. But, she couldn't tell them that. "Mik-"

Jasper interrupted her swiftly. "Let me just remind you," he said, eyeing her pointedly, "that you need to give a truthful answer. Lying is punishable."

"Please," she scoffed the way she did when she conversed with Jasper, "Like you could scare me with an empty threat..."

They exchanged condescending smiles and his face made her want to cause a little trouble. "Jasper," she mock-reluctantly admitted. Before they began the wolf-whistling and howls of approval, she added "It's not a hard decision - Newton is practically a brussels sprout."

They all burst out laughing, Emmett cocking his head to the side as he tried to make the visual comparison in his head. When his mouth turned down into his best _Obama not bad _pout, she also had to laugh.

For answering truthfully, Alice was awarded the opportunity to goad her friends. But, she didn't want to be too nosy - she was still new to the world of a social circle. So, she decided to reiterate a question she'd heard Rosalie ask a few days ago that hadn't received an adequate response. "Why did you get called into the principal's office this week if it wasn't for a suspension?"

Yet again, Alice caught poor Jasper off guard. This was a question that he couldn't possibly have anticipated. "He... uh..." _What was that lie he had concocted again? _He slipped around like an elephant ice-skates, trying to think of some reason that would put the matter to rest. "He just... wanted to check up on me and make sure I wasn't causing trouble, like Emmett."

"Objection!" Emmett cried. "He doesn't even check up on me, and my record is worse than yours."

"He doesn't need to check on you because you're in there so often!" Jasper reasoned instantly.

It seemed reasonable, but Alice suddenly wondered if her question had been more loaded than she would have ever thought.

As the game went on, Alice learned that Rosalie had had another pregnancy scare recently (along with another four over the span of a year), Emmett had been the one to proudly leave a butt print in the snow on the principal's windscreen last winter, Jasper lost his virginity at fourteen, and Bella was moderately obsessed with the paranormal. Also, Edward had to dress up as a fabulous Peter Pan in very tight pink tights for Halloween last year thanks to Jasper and Emmett's insistence.

They learned nothing more about her until...

"Alice, truth or dare?" Bella asked.

"Truth."

"Why did you come to Greenview?"

Easy question, right?

Not really. That was something that she hadn't told anyone yet. "Uh... um..." Frankly, she wasn't even sure that the school was aware of her current situation since it was settled only recently. "I... uh..." she fumbled. She sighed. In that single stroke of courage, she decided this was not something worth keeping a secret. "I moved out of my parents' place about four months ago and I tried to get as far away from them as I could. So, I found an apartment and ended up here."

Bella's head tilted curiously after a moment of complete silence in the room. "So... you're living on your own?"

All eyes turned to Alice on the couch. She knew that they had not been expecting that kind of news in any way, but she figured it wasn't something that would harm her social credibility. "I am legally emancipated, yes."

It sounded strange to say it out loud.

She was actually legally free of her parents now. Yes, _free_ was the correct word.

Typically, Emmett spun it around. "You mean that you have a place for parties?" he exclaimed.

Alice wanted to laugh, but was queasy at just the thought of having strangers at her place. She didn't even have a table yet. "Uh, no... I have neighbours," she said.

"Ah, true..."

This naturally flowed into a few more questions they had. They asked about when she became emancipated, how she could afford to live on her own, and how awesome it was to not have parents breathing down her neck.

Thankfully, nobody asked _why_ she had to get away from her parents.

When they had exhausted the topic, animated by learning something fascinating about the newest member of their clan, Rosalie took hold of the wheel and turned back to Jasper. She was clearly on a mission.

"Why were you_ really _in Principal Hubert's office this week?"

Jasper blanched for a moment, and then took a long breath in. After the things Alice had said, his problems seemed so little and trivial. With all the thoughts swirling around his head, he couldn't think straight. He couldn't think of any other lie to weave and he decided that he didn't really care anymore. "He called me in to check on my grades."

"Why? Are you failing?"

"Not exactly..."

"Do you need a tutor?" she asked, an air of smugness setting her shoulders rigid. There was an underlying offer of services in her question, for sure.

Jasper didn't like her tone, and something inside of him let go of the facade he'd been holding on to all those months. All of a sudden, secrecy and protecting his reputation meant nothing to him. He may have liked to be an underdog, but he hated being undermined and so putting Rosalie in her place was suddenly more important. "Why would I need a tutor?" he asked. "I have a GPA of 3.9."

There. That was his challenge to her, laid out plainly for everyone to see.

Rosalie took the bait. "You can't. My GPA is 3.75..."

"So what does that tell you?" he bit back.

He did feel a tad regretful after saying that, realising that Rosalie was under the assumption that she would graduate with top honours and that he had just publicly declared her wrong. Jasper was completely aware that he had dented Rosalie's ego. If he was the top scorer of their highschool, then she wasn't. Giving her a false sense of security hadn't been his intention all these months, but it was a perk in that particular moment.

"You can't be Valedictorian if you cheat. That's just not fair."

Again, he didn't like to be undermined. "Here's another secret for you:" he added impulsively, "Contrary to what people think, I have never once cheated on a test."

That seemed to be the magic card, because Rosalie's spirit lowered palpably at his confession. It was obvious enough to make Emmett intervene and pipe up to steer the situation in another direction. "Jazzy! Jazzy! Truth or dare?"

"Um, it's _my_ turn..." Jasper reminded him.

"Trust me, I got a really good one... Pick dare."

"Finally!" he cried. "Something interesting... Dare."

Wit the toothiest grin known to mankind, Emmett made his proclamation. "I dare you to kiss Alice."

The room turned green and flipped itself upside down in her head. Literally.

"Is that really the best you can do?" Jasper moaned.

Emmett just eyed him pointedly. There was a twinkle in his eye that Alice would've sworn was part of some sick bro code. It was as if Emmett was doing Jasper a favour.

Only, neither her or Jasper saw it that way.

Jasper looked at Alice sitting beside him, and then back at Emmett. "Mmm... no."

Having never been one to turn down a dare, he didn't really know what to make of the situation. On the one hand, he wasn't worried about doing the dare itself. He'd done it plenty of times in similar stupid dares with equally silly girls. On the other hand, it didn't feel right. He wasn't interested so much in kissing Alice that way.

Alice didn't like that small crease forming between his eyes. Instead of interpreting it as his own confusion or respectful reluctance, she saw it as a sign of disgust and everything from her previous world came flooding back. Those looks were something she was used to back in Mississippi, but here she was different. Here, she had worked to change herself, to structure her life in a way that was appealing.

She would be damned if she let some arrogant tutu-wearing cowboy change that.

Emmett smiled cheekily at Jasper, the amusement clearly a one-way street. "Well," he said. "That means you have to do a double dare."

But, then, with an unforeseen gleam of something fierce in her eyes, she changed his mind for him. She asked, "What's wrong? Scared of a little dare?"

That kind of ribbing was expected protocol from Emmett, or Rosalie, or even Bella, but not Alice. He got the sense that she was not exactly from the same sort of circle she found herself in now. He didn't know if her experiences encompassed these kind of antics. For him, it was commonplace, for others, not so much.

But, whatever that gleam in her eyes was, it was kind of hot. "Are you daring me now, too?" he asked.

"Just do it!" Emmett cheered.

Jasper's brow furrowed and then released. He had been given permission to do so from everyone's angle, so what could possibly be the harm?

"Come here," he growled, leaning over the space between them, and almost lunging at her.

And that was how it started.

His hands were on either side of her face, tempting, with their warmth, her into him. Their knees were so close, they were practically touching. And, then, _bam_. Alice felt the foreign sensation of anothers lips on her own. Involuntarily, probably from watching so many movies, she closed her eyes. It was somehow supposed to make it all seem less strange if she couldn't see it.

But, she was wrong.

When she was just relying on her sense of touch, there was just so much to concentrate on. The heat pressed up against her skin was nothing she had ever felt before. Unpleasant at first, but then completely spine melting at the first sign of movement.

For what felt like a few whole seconds, nothing happened. There was just a weird, soft sponge pressed up against her lips. But then he moved, and the a fuse was let off in her toes. She didn't know what the hell she was doing, so she tried to copy him. But, as the sparks drew up her body, focusing on the actual became impossible.

Thankfully, when he started to pull back, a small breeze brushing up against her wettened lips, she knew it was also time to pull away and open her eyes. From then on, she understood what seeing the world through rose coloured glasses actually meant.

Everything was now a lovely shade of warmth and softness.

The crowd - a rowdy 3 in total - alternated between laughing and cheering at the sight before them.

He wasn't sure, but Jasper thought he may have let his hands linger a little bit longer than he should have. She had really soft skin. Really soft.

Internally, he was slapping himself for thinking that about Alice, of all people.

"Not bad, bro," Emmett commented, nodding in approval. Again, there was a sly wink he offered to Jasper that definitely made Alice feel like she may have been taken for a ride.

Nonetheless, she knew she had to commit to her confidant persona and so, she just rolled her eyes, trying to brush it off as if she had done this kind of thing before.

Inside, though, she could have sworn her lungs disintegrated into a pile of wonderful, weightless glitter.

"I guess it's your turn, then," Emmett said to Jasper.

Jasper tried not to look at Alice out of the corner of his eye. It had been a while since he had kissed a girl, and he now realised that he missed it. He knew he'd start wondering things that he shouldn't if he dared to look at her - and there was no way that Alice would return the sentiment. So, he didn't.

"Bella!" he said, trying to hide any amount of accumulated intrigue under the class clown facade. "Emmett and I have a bet riding on this one, so you better answer correctly..."

"Oh god..." she groaned. "Not this again..."

"Have you and Edward done the deed yet?"

Her cheeks turned such an impressive shade of beetroot that _purple_ didn't seem to cut it. With an uncomfortable grimace, she sunk her gaze down to her feet. While Alice thought she would take a moment to try and refuse the question on grounds of x,y, and z, Bella just simply shook her head in response. "No..." she mumbled. She sounded almost disappointed.

"What!?" Emmett blurted.

Jasper started laughing and clapped his hands together. "I told you! I knew it!"

Emmett sat there, mortified. "No way! You're lying!"

Bella just shook her head again and raised her head, still not meeting the pressing gaze of anyone in the room. "He wants to wait until we're married..."

"Ew!" Rosalie interjected. "That's the gayest thing I've ever heard."

"There's no need to advertise your sluttiness, Rose," Jasper quipped. "We all know it."

Alice wanted to laugh along with them, and forced herself to at least crack a smile, but she was kind of preoccupied with herself. She had just had her first kiss, and barely had a moment to prepare and recover from it.

She felt more like a normal person now.

Although she was convinced that that small three second experience had made her infinitely wiser about intimate relations, it hadn't. Each person had already been asked something about sex and it was something which she could not provide any sort of insight for even though she had now kissed a guy. That brought her clouded mind down to Earth a little. What if she was asked about it next time around?

Bella was the only other person who was in the same boat as Alice, and it apparently wasn't by choice. Alice knew it wasn't normal, but she'd had virtually no interest in sex until now. She hoped that she was just a late bloomer because not wanting sex officially put another check mark in her crazy column. She couldn't afford that.

There were a few light quips back and forth about Edward and Bella's future together as the Virgin King and Queen of Greenview High until, eventually, Bella put a stop to the bantering by announcing that she was ready to ask her question.

She turned to Alice. "Alice?" she said sweetly, not knowing the full effect of the question she was about to ask. "When was your first kiss?"

Alice's heart stopped, and she had to cough to get it started again. It was such a cliche question, and yet it was something she hadn't prepared herself for. Was it cooler to own the fact that she had no previous experience, or should she lie and make a bunch of vague references about things she'd seen in movies? Had her first kiss been years ago with a liquorice ring in a ceremony on the playground? Did she really want to be keeping unnecessary secrets from this group? After all, they had accepted her thus far.

It may have been the happy bubbles her brain was steeping in, but she thought this was a no brainer: she would tell them the truth.

Surprisingly, she couldn't feel her face going hot. She didn't want to be embarrassed by what she was going to tell them. "Uhh..." she said, toying very briefly with a chipped nail on her hand. "About... two minutes ago..."

The two girls just gasped instantly and dropped their jaws with Jasper.

Emmett knew that he was in trouble without even looking at the scorn coming from a judgmental Bella on the floor.

"Are you serious?" Rosalie asked.

Jasper looked just as horrified as he spied her out of the corner of his eye.

Alice just nodded and said "yes" meekly.

Jasper turned to Emmett, using a more accusatory tone that any indifferent individual would have. "Dude... Do. Your. Research. Do you always have to be so stupid?" he almost barked.

Emmett held up both hands in defence. "Hey man, you didn't have to do it." Then he turned to Alice. "Yeah, Alice, woah. Sorry. I didn't-"

"Doesn't matter," she cut him off. They stared curiously. "What's the big deal? Isn't it normal for people to have their first kiss during truth or dare?"

Wanting to get the burden of blame off his chest, Emmett just nodded and said "Yeah... It does happen that way!"

Jasper couldn't say anything. He sat there, and he wouldn't even look at her. And, again, she misinterpreted that as disgust. He was semi-mortified by what he had done. He knew girls had these strange ideas about first kisses and their first time being magical, and so on. It was never something he subscribed to, but he'd always been brought up to respect that people were not toys nor were they in tune with his own thinking.

What had he just done?

* * *

><p><strong>Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but hopefully you got a bit of a laugh out of it.<strong>

**Now for some good news: **  
><strong>1. There is going to be another round of truth or dare questions, so what do you want the characters to answerwant to know?**  
><strong>2. The next chapter will probably be up by the end of the week because I'm going to make myself do it. So there.<strong>

**You know what to do! Run.**


	11. Truth or Dare (part 2)

**A/N: Thank you so much for your patience, guys! I'm so flattered and appreciative of your support as readers and can't thank you enough for the feedback you provide. As promised, here is the new chapter. This is THE chapter I have been building up to since the beginning. **

**(Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes in here - I will re-check it as soon as I can, so bear with me :) )**

**Let the mayhem ensue.**

* * *

><p>A blur of purple came hurtling forward, and before he knew what had happened, the cushion Rosalie had thrown hit Jasper square in the face. The pretence may have been to grab his wandering attention, but there was definitely a bit of unnecessary force in there.<p>

He looked at her, the cushion having fallen into his moderately agitated grip. "What?"

"Is your brother still here?" Rosalie asked, presumably again.

Jasper waited a moment before answering, sensing she had more than just a slight amount of resentment geared towards him. "Why?" he wondered aloud. "Do you need a lawyer?"

"I was just asking," she replied.

No, she wasn't. Rosalie always had hidden agendas when it came to his family. She'd become more obvious about it since he'd started dating Maria a few years back and went into his downward spiral, but even as a five year-old she'd been nosy. Normally, it wouldn't have bothered him, but he was just not in the mood to deal with her sneakiness tonight. He hadn't had enough alcohol to be laid back about her prying habits.

"So, Alice," Bella chimed in, noting the acerbity in each of the cousins' voices. "Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

Alice looked at her, eyes wide like a doe in headlights. "Yeah..." she reluctantly said, fingers knotting around one another. "I... have a younger sister."

Jasper was surprised that Bella had ventured down that path of conversation, given that they found out Alice had moved away from home not that long ago. He was no expert, but he knew that someone who was legally emancipated did not come from fortunate circumstances. Even though he had no problem quipping about her likely fantastical dreams about him, even he wasn't sure that talking about her estranged family was safe. That made it a bad idea by anyone's standards.

"Does she live with you?"

Alice's jaw slackened a little. Again, he wondered how Bella was not seeing the effect of her questions. "Uh, no. She lives back home in Mississippi..."

"Oh."

Emmett got up from his seat. "Time for another round, I think," he declared, walking off to get some more alcohol.

Bella called after him. "Em?" she said, leaning back on her elbows and staring at the ceiling. "When did you say the pizzas were getting here?"

The unidentifiable bangs and clangs from the kitchen ceased, and, momentarily, his head appeared from around the corner. "Got a certain _appetite_, have you?" He wiggled his brows when she snapped her glare to him.

Jasper also grinned at the exchange.

"You guys suck," Bella pouted.

Bella was the only one of the girls that both Emmett and Jasper felt comfortable picking on as if she were a sister. Rosalie may have been Jasper's cousin - both exercising the familial right to be very crude to one another - but she was also Emmett's girlfriend, so he couldn't say certain things to her. Alice was too new, and even though Jasper had fun playing with her, Emmett wasn't sure how far he could take it with the new one. That left Bella, and the three of them had a certain level of understanding that only pseudo siblings would get.

"What is Edward doing tonight?" Rosalie asked as Bella took another cushion off the sofa and sat on it.

"I wouldn't know," Bella said. "He won't return my calls."

"What a sook," she replied. "If you ask me, you should just dump him."

"That's probably why nobody asked you, Rose," Jasper mused.

Bella shot him a thankful smile.

"Well," Emmett added, calling from the kitchen. "She at least knows who the better kisser is now!"

Then there was a knock at the door.

"Whooop! Pizza's here!" Emmett cried, keenly rushing over to the door. "I got it!" he insisted when he saw Rosalie make a move to answer it. "I got it."

Jasper instantly became suspicious.

Emmett unlocked the door very cautiously and poked his head through the crack. A little strange, given his nature for throwing doors open rashly. Turns out, there was a reason. Emmett asked the guy to come in and put the food on the table where they were all sitting patiently.

When the outsider came in, laden with the telltale flat boxes, they all understood why.

Jasper's face turned into stunned amusement as Edward came into the foyer of the house, hunched like a dog with its tail between its legs. Alice could sense this was probably wasn't the most comfortable of situations for the fighting couple, and she began to sympathise with Bella. But, when she noticed how Jasper became more and more amused with his presence, she immediately attributed it to his participation in the plot.

Bella, apparently, had the same idea. "Jazz!" she almost sneered.

He looked at her and shook his head. "This one is not my doing," he said. "Although, I am flattered that you think I would do something this intelligent."

Emmett attempted an uncomfortable smile, baring both his top and bottom rows of teeth. "Uh... Look who's here," he said, knowing full well that he'd just been busted. At the lack of approval of his grand plan, his smile turned into a grimace. "Uhh... Jazzy, a little help in the kitchen, please," he said, gesturing his head over to the other doorway.

Jasper looked at the doorway, then at Emmett, and then at the growing space between Edward and Bella. He got up and the two walked away into the kitchen, mumbling about something.

Alice didn't care what they said, they were undoubtedly in cahoots on this.

If there was a word to describe the feeling of ignoring a splinter in your eyeball in silence, then Alice would have used it. But, instead, for lack of better word, she could only describe the look on Bella's face as painfully uncomfortable.

"Are you going to put those down, or not?" Rosalie clucked, briefly looking at Edward over her shoulder.

Like a startled puppet on strings, he came further into the room and placed the pizza boxes tentatively on the table, the furthest corner from Bella. Alice smiled gently at him as she caught his eye. He returned the gesture and then looked nervously around the room.

Rosalie also noticed this. "Well, you are not sitting next to me," she advised.

While the other two, doing god-knows-what in the kitchen, went on with their business, Edward moved and sat on the ottoman next to where Jasper had been. Almost as if he knew that space next to Alice was reserved.

Alice thought she might try to strike up conversation, to somehow blow the iciness out of the room, since Rosalie had only barked orders at him. When she turned to Edward to ask the most generic question she could think of, she saw that Jasper's head was sticking out from behind the wall cartoonishly. He caught her glance and pulled his best Frankenstein face at her, then went back to assessing the situation in the living room.

What she wouldn't have given for a decently sized rotten pumpkin at that moment.

His head ducked behind the wall again, very quickly, when he saw that nothing productive was happening in the room. Alice wanted to change that by bringing up an open-ended topic, but all she could think about was how much Jasper's head had been the perfect target a few moments ago. She was never good at small talk. At least she knew prostitution was no longer an option.

She began to pinch herself internally as chastisement for not being able to carrying on a basic conversation when Edward looked like he was about to say something after staring intently at Bella.

All of a sudden, in unison, the two practically shouted "I'm sorry!" at each other.

Alice wasn't sure, but she didn't think that was how people apologised to one another in relationships - she'd never seen anyone do it like that in the movies and they were her bible for social interactions.

An even stranger silence followed until the terrible twins reappeared from the kitchen, conveniently after that moment of reconcilliation. "Another round of drinks," they called, Emmett gesturing to the tray of shots that Jasper offered up like a sacrifice.

"Why hasn't anyone touched these pizzas yet?" Emmett asked, pushing past a Jasper laden with their choice of poison. "You said you were hungry..."

Rosalie then leaned over and began to unpack the boxes, spreading them around the table so that everyone had equal access to the contents.

Jasper went around offering more drinks to everyone, giving them away even if he was told 'no'.

When they were all settled, had taken their shot, and began picking at the food, Jasper came and settled himself between Alice and Edwawrd.

At last a certain weight was lifted from the room. It would be nice to think that it was because the_ elephant _named Jacob in the room had been deflated, but it was most likely due tot he fact that a bunch of teenagers had food.

Emmett conversationally asked about Edward's car and whether his parents had found out about that speeding fine he had copped a few weeks ago. The answer was an obvious no because he was still in possession of the car and his phone, and was allowed out of the house on a Friday night. They talked about this and that for a bit until the food drunk stupor started to kick in, and one by one, their postures began to resemble ragdolls. Edward made a move and ended up sitting with Bella on the floor, arms draped around her shoulder. He playfully asked what he had missed in the time that he was gone.

"We were just playing truth or dare..." Rosalie said casually.

Emmett, not catching on as to why Rosalie had mentioned it very casually, grew very animated at the reminder. "You missed a _whole lot_, Eddie! Seriously, Jasper and Alice made out and everything!"

Alice instnatly threw her head into her hands, any amount of pride from the act instantly diminishing.

Jasper saw what she did beside him, but when he looked carefully, he could see a small grin under those hands. He felt at ease because it seemed as though her embarrassment was only a facade - something he was very well versed in.

He had worried for nothing, it seemed, about the kiss between them. It was a pretty damn good one too, if he was honest.

He realised that he needed to get out more often.

Nonetheless, he took a stray bottle cap sitting on the arm rest and flicked it over the small space to Emmett. He had to at least pretend he was annoyed at Emmett's forthrightness. The cap didn't hit him in the forehead like he wanted it to, but it did land in his lap, causing him to look over at Jasper.

Jasper just rolled his eyes, hoping that Emmett would see that such a divulgence of information probably wasn't the best thing to have said.

"No, really, what did I miss?" Edward said, completely disbelieving that anything like that could have happened. Bella nudged him and shook her head discretely when he took notice. It was definitely an _I-will-tell-you-later _look to which he promptly zipped his mouth shut.

"Yes, well, and Jasper is still in contact with _Maria_," Rosalie added bitterly. Jasper watched her facial movements closely and even though he could tell that she wasn't happy about the Maria situation, it wasn't the cause of the disatisfaction in her tone. It was most likely attributed to the valedictorianship for which she perceived he had taken from her. That was something he was going to have to deal with properly sometime this week.

Edward was surprised to hear this and piped up. "Why would you do _that_?" he asked.

Jasper just looked at him, not loving that he was sharing these details with someone who had no idea that the world was not perfect. "An easy lay?" he joked. Edward didn't know how to interpret the humour because it did sound characteristic of roguish Jasper. This wasn't by accident, and Jasper so designed the answer so he did not elaborate. He'd rather leave golden boy wondering.

It worked.

"Speaking of which," Emmett said, a lightbulb going off above his head. "What is this I don't hear is happening between you two?" He gestured with a finger at the space between Edward and Bella.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and lowered his head. Bella looked at him nervously and smiled almost sheepishly.

"Why would you tell them that?" he mumbled to her quietly.

"Emmett doesn't need to be told," Jasper replied, almost laughing at them, "he has a sixth sense about these things."

Bella ceased the opportunity to say that, yes, they had indeed guessed what had _not_ happened between them.

"Actually," Emmett added, "Jasper is the Nostradamus on these things. He's so starved that he can pick up on it a mile away. You two must be blue ball buddies."

Alice stifled her laugh a moment too late, fighting the slightly tipsy urge to think about Jasper's balls. That was so beyond off-limits that she could probably make a priest swear if mentioned at confession.

"I don't want to think about Edward's balls," Jasper groaned, huffing out exasperatedly over the top of Emmett's laughter.

Edward nodded. "Yes, please don't."

Jasper stood up, punching Emmett on the arm as he walked passed and back into the kitchen. "I'm just going to go wash my mouth out with cyanide now..." .

Emmett called after him, taking great satisfaction in the disgust he had caused his best friend. "Top drawer!"

Edward smoothed out a wrinkle in his jeans with his hand. "You really need to have that brain of yours checked, Em," he remarked, letting any traces of a disgusted frown float away.

"Ha! You couldn't take a joke even if it was a girl!"

Again, Alice clapped a hand to her mouth to stop the laughter. She liked to think it was the alcohol loosening her up.

Jasper appeared back from the kitchen, demanding the attention of the room silently as he held up an opened box of condoms. "Top drawer?" he asked incredulously, flipping and shaking the upside-down box to emphasise the lack of contents.

Everyone laughed at what he was doing.

"You actually went looking for cyanide?" Emmett asked, equally as incredulous.

"I thought 'top drawer' was a hint or something."

"No, dude."

"Yeah, I got that." Jasper replied, sitting back down in his spot and tossing the empty box over his shoulder somewhere. "Just in case you didn't know, Edward, that's what a box of condoms looks like."

Bella just shook her head while Rosalie grinned at her cousin's humour.

"So, Edward..." Emmett said. "To be welcome back here, you need to do a little initiation. And since I took Jasper's dare from before, I think it's fitting that he comes up with your punishment."

The cogs in Jasper's head starting turning as he eyed them off carefully. He wanted to pick something that would push Edward's limits, but not be as far as something Emmett would do. Emmett, unlike any sane person, had _no_ boundaries. Edward did.

"Hmm," Jasper said, "Give me a minute."

He was so smug all of a sudden, Alice noted, and - perhaps it was the alcohol spurring on - that infuriated her. She felt the same way that she had when she first learned that Jasper was going to be in the same psychology class as her and she snapped a pencil in her grip.

He noticed her looking and flicked his gaze to her out of the corner of his eye. "Have you got an idea?" he asked, looking down at her.

She just folded her arms and sat back on the couch. "Looking at your face should be enough for them."

There was a general chuckle from the group.

Jasper also laughed, only sarcastically. "Keep calm, Mad Hatter," he said, leaning over and picking up a stray shot from the table and handing it to her, "And drink this."

She took it from him and placed it straight back on the table. She didn't need another one so soon, she was sure.

Instead of taking a clear stab at her pride, he simply looked the shot she had replaced. "Typical."

"Excuse me?"

"_Typical_ - you won't do the shot, will you?"

She looked at him and there it was: another challenge. She knew she couldn't back down from this one, because she hadn't done it thus far in their war. If she didn't do the shot, sticking to her ground, he would be right in his accusation. But, then, if she _did_ pick up the drink, he would win because he was goading her and everybody knew it.

He smiled at her, knowing that she'd just realised he had put her into a lose-lose situation. He believed that that was checkmate. He liked it when that happened.

Alice, on the flipside, was seeing replays of the party where he had gotten up and called her a virgin in front of the entire senior class. It seemed like he could be on to her, but she couldn't see how that could be possible because she had taken every precaution to cover her sickeningly innocent tracks. He couldn't possibly know that stuff about her.

It only took another wink from him to set her teeth on edge. _Damn, he was cocky_.

She leaned over, picked up the shot and swallowed it confidently. She understood that she had just given a point to him, but it was probably one of the least important points to give away. An easy win was hardly a win at all.

He just gave her a nod of acknowledgement, pleased that he had won this impromptu round.

Jasper turned back to Edward then, the fire she lit in him fuelling an entertaining idea. "Edward", he said, "demonstrate to us that you are actually attracted to Bella."

"Ooooh!" Emmett cried, shuffling forward to the edge of his seat and bouncing energetically.

"I don't really care how you do it," Jasper said, "I'll leave that to your imagination. But, you have to make us believe it."

The two would-be lovers - _playground sweethearts, _as Jasper liked to refer to them as - sat stone still for a moment, trying to process what he had just dared them to do.

In one not-so-smooth motion, Edward kissed Bella. Their heads were at an awkward angle - neither one aware enough to change the fact - to accommodate their bodies' positions. He put a hand in her hair, she tried to undo a button on his shirt, they may have even used a tongue... It was all very amateurish to Jasper. Frankly, he thought his and Alice's kiss had been better.

Of course, Edward couldn't come up with anything more original to show his girlfriend his affection, but she was clearly smitten with the gesture. Jasper thought that Bella should probably raise her standards a little, but he had to remember to keep his mouth shut because not everyone had the capacity to think creatively.

They broke apart after a whopping five seconds, and looked towards their audience for their report card.

The response was underwhelming.

"I hope that looked more awkward than it actually was," Jasper remarked under his breath. Surely he had never looked that clumsy when he first started chasing after girls.

Rosalie snickered in agreement.

Edward brushed it off, uncharacteristically. "Does this mean I get to ask truth or dare now?" he asked, straightening up his hair and checking all the buttons on his shirt.

At that, Emmett's hand shot up like an eager student in class. He didn't wait for his turn to speak. "Let me do it! I have a really good one!"

Edward's brow furrowed.

"Emmett's not very good at taking turns," Jasper remarked, rolling his eyes.

Edward conceded his turn with the wave of his hand. "This had better be worth it."

Emmett just grinned and swivelled in his seat towards Jasper.

Jasper realised what this meant. "Oh, for crying out loud! Not again..."

"Jazz, I dare you to do the full monty for us, right here."

"Uh, no."

"Is that a double dare, then?"

Jasper nodded. "Indeed."

"Fine. Then you two-" he said, pointing at both Jasper and Alice with each hand, "-have to pretend to be a couple for an entire week."

Alice balked, her eyes locked in place at the words coming out of Emmett's mouth in slow motion.

"And you have to make everyone at school believe it."

Instead of refusing, or pulling a face of sheer horror, or even sitting in stunned silence, Jasper got straight to business. "What's in it for us?"

Alice looked at him, horrified. "We are not- _I _am not doing this. "

He held up a finger to silence her, intent on hearing the details of a plan she would not allow to come to fruition.

"Jasper, you get your iPod back-"

"That's hardly an incentive."

Emmett ignored him. "And, Alice, you will get the ultimate weapon against Jasper."

Her interest betrayed her good senses by peaking at his bait. "What would that be?" she asked. Not that she would ever agree to this charade...

"Some information that only I know..."

That didn't sound promising to her. She placed a finger to her chin in thought. "I'm intrigued, but it's hardly worth a week of torture."

"I agree," Jasper said, nodding. "That's not good enough."

Emmett sighed. "Fine. If you succeed, I will streak too."

Alice laughed, but Jasper shook his head. "You've already done that before..."

"Not at graduation, I haven't."

Jasper bit his lip as he contemplated the latest offer. Emmett streaking at graduation would take the spotlight off him when the students found out he had out-smarted them all while acting the dumbest. It was a decent enough proposal, but he thought he could weasel a better deal out of his ape of a best friend. He stood up, motioning Alice to do the same. She did so, but quizzically.

Again, she liked to think it was the alcohol doing that.

"We need to confer," Jasper said, heading into the kitchen with Alice obediently in tow.

"I am not doing this," she prattled before moving away, letting the others hear what she thought of this dare. "It's sad enough that you need to dare someone to be your girlfriend, but to pick someone who really doesn't like you..."

When they came into the security of the separated room, he spun on his heel to look at her. "If we do this, we will _own_ him," he explained quietly.

She thought back to the tennis ball incident in the hallway. "You already own him!"

"That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Seriously, though, I think we can do this."

Alice's eyes bulged out of her head. "Are you for real? I knew you were messed up, but-"

"Wait a minute," he said, narrowing his eyes at her looming insult. He thought he would push a few new buttons of hers that he had learned about this evening, just to see if he would get his way. "Don't you want to prove that you know how to have _fun_?"

"Come again?"

He smiled evilly. "I've been watching you-"

"_Stalker!_"

"You haven't been to parties and gotten drunk and done irresponsible things with friends before, have you?"

She wouldn't let him tug her any further out to the grand sea of pity. Like she had reminded herself earlier, she didn't need some cowboy messing up her new world. "Does it look like I don't know what I'm doing?"

"I'll give you credit, you hide it well," he said, crossing his arms. "I don't think any of the others know. _Yet_."

"Is that a threat? Are you seriously blackmailing me into this stupid dare?"

He shrugged his shoulders, but that was hardly the truthful answer to her question.

"There is no real reason to do this!" she all but squealed.

"How about just the satisfaction of winning? Of doing something they don't think you can?"

"That is such a lame thing to say!" and she began to make her way out of the room.

"Wait," he said quickly, involuntarily reaching towards her. He pulled out a chair for her at the kitchen table. "Sit down first."

She looked at it venomously. "Are you going to tie me to that chair?"

"You wish," he replied, taking a seat himself. He looked at her completely for the first time since_ the incident _earlier in the night, catching her off guard.

Suddenly, there was an invisible rope around her waist stopping her from moving away. That was the only explanation because, next thing she knew, she was taking the seat he had pulled out for her.

"Look," he said, his eyes apparently more interested in the grains in the wood table than her face. "I'm sorry about before. I wouldn't have done it if I had known..."

Alice just shook her head. "You can save your pity and disgust. I don't need it."

"_Disgust_?" he asked, pointing out one of her key words.

That was definitely not a word he would have used. It was the opposite.

A small amount of panic then settled itself in his stomach: did _she_ think the kiss was disgusting?

She just turned to look at the hands in her lap. "Doesn't matter. It's done. Whatever. I still don't like you very much."

Did she think he was _disgusting_?

Well, there went any need he thought there might be to try to assess any damage caused. That was not what he'd expected.

_Quick! Respond, Jasper_. "Don't like me _very much_? So you do like me a little bit..."

She stopped fiddling and looked at him incredulously. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Hey, well, now you can say your first kiss was with me... That seems like a pretty good deal."

"Again, don't flatter yourself."

He was equally frustrated now, finding it less fun than usual to argue with Alice. She was the only one had to worry about being out-smarted by, but it wasn't such a perk in this instance. "You just don't want to do it because you're afraid you might like it!"

What she did next, he had not counted on.

She jutted out her chin defiantly, got up, turned on her heel, and marched out of the room. He thought he had lost out on this one, disappointment creeping in, until he heard her declare, loud and clear that "We accept."

He raced out too, trying not to let Emmett get out of this too easily. "With two extra conditions: you have to paint a face on your ass and do your best performance of We Are the Champions on stage until you get escorted away." He came and stood next to Alice, like a united front.

Emmett thought about it, bottom lip protruding in thought for a moment or two. Then he nodded. "Congratulations," he said. "You are now boyfriend and girlfriend."


	12. Monday

**Ahoy hoy.**

**Yep. I'm alive. Yep, this is a real update notification.**

**Nope, I'm not kidding.**

**Yep, there is a lot more to come.**

**Thank you all so much, really truly, for your unyielding support and reviews. You guys, seriously, are the bomb.**

* * *

><p>Despite all the deals made with the devil that weekend, Monday rolled around a lot quicker than it was supposed to. Alice kicked the small pebble by her feet as she rounded the corner of school. It ricocheted off the fence beside her and hit her in the ankle.<p>

She hated Mondays.

The remainder of the weekend had been spent wondering about how she was going to pretend to be someone's girlfriend, running through all the different scenarios that could possibly arise. Every. Single. One. More than once.

To prove it, she had awoken with the most stubborn purple shadows under her eyes. Not even a fourth layer of concealer would help her today. A huff of breath in the unseasonably cold morning blew a cloud of smoke from her mouth, and she snuggled further into the grey scarf wrapped around her neck.

Jasper, on the other hand, leaning against the hood of his car, was not as concerned as she. He watched her trudge into the other end of the parking lot, her bright blue jacket like a neon sign in the grey surroundings, and folded his arms.

_At least she showed up_, he thought.

Alice's heart stopped when she finally saw him. This was it. She hoped and wished with every fibre of her being that he had not noticed her, but, as she neared, he got up from his spot in acknowledgement.

Without so much as a greeting nod, Alice came to a halt near him.

"What's the plan?" she mumbled, readjusting one of the straps of her backpack.

He inhaled. "Just follow my lead..."

"Ah, no."

He stopped himself from rolling his eyes. "Why not?"

"Because I'm not stupid!"

He folded his arms again. "We can't be doing this in public right now..."

She blinked blankly twice. "_What_?"

"There are people watching us."

Alice looked around dramatically. It was Monday morning; there were a few people, but none of them had the capacity to care about anything other than coffee. That, and they weren't hanging around near the couple in the cold morning air.

Jasper seemed to understand what she was thinking. "This is highschool. Someone is_ always _watching. Now, give me your bag."

She complied, seeing no downside to this part of the agreement. "If I'd known you were going to do that," she remarked. "I would have packed some bricks."

"Aren't I lucky?" He took the bag and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. She went to squirm in protest, but his arm remained. "They're watching..." he explained.

"Uh... who died and made you queen?" But, in that split second, she realised how comfortable it was. There was no denying it - he was a lot warmer than the icy air around them.

"Look," he said, almost seriously, "if we make them suspicious early in the week, they'll scrutinise our every move from there on. That means we only have to do _minor_ things for them to see it."

That, whether she liked it or not, was some sound logic.

The two made their way to the doors leading into the main hall.

As it turned out, there were people in the hall who were indeed interested in the newest couple to grace their corridor.

The only reason Alice didn't freak out at the attention was because it, again, was a mirror image of those scenes in high school dramas. She had seen this before, and the movies had taught her to just stay cool and collected.

At first, it felt like they were taking their final steps to the firing squad, but after a few whispers turned to giggles, Alice began to feel a slight buzz from the attention. People weren't looking at her like a freak - they were curious and envious of who she had gotten in with. They were assessing her new position on the social ladder. For once, it was a lateral move.

She felt Jasper move beside her. He lowered his head slightly to mumble into the hair covering her ear. "See how easy this is?" he remarked.

The faintest blush crept out from under her scarf at his warm breath on her ear. She had to remind herself who she was with and when she did, the little glimmering stars coating her eyes dissipated.

She snaked her left hand upwards to interweave her fingers amongst his on her shoulder. A cute gesture on the outside, no doubt. That is, until she twisted them. "I can't wait to find out what Emmett has on you," she said out of the corner of her mouth, keeping a small smile planted firmly there.

"It's probably nothing," he replied, his voice straining against the small amount of pain. "He's probably duped you. _Ouch_!"

"Not with your reputation, _mister Valedictorian_."

He glared at her out of the corner of his eye. She caught it.

"Well, there's only one way you're going to know for sure, Mad Hatter..."

"I doubt there's only _one _way."

All of a sudden, his hand lifted from around her and he spun her as if in a private dance. She was backed up against the locker again - a strangely familiar scenario - one of his hands beside her head, and the other at her waist.

He leaned in, and she wanted to pull back.

Some of the other students were still watching, though they were trying to be discreet about it.

Jasper peeped out the corner of his eye to check. "We have a bet to win," he said, leaning in slowly. Her urge to escape faded almost to oblivion.

He looked down at the space between them and pushed away. He pulled the bag off his shoulder and handed it to her, which she took shakily.

"I'll see you later."

He couldn't have known what he was getting himself into, but he was on the path to understanding for he came to realise something crucial: he really did miss physical human contact.

**...**

"Holy fucking mother of cheese!" Emmett cursed, opening the photo on his phone that had gone around school of Alice and Jasper at her locker this morning.

"And you thought we needed a week..." Jasper gloated, throwing another grape into his mouth. "We will have won this by the end of the day."

"It is quite impressive," Edward remarked, also looking down at the photo on his own phone. "What were you doing when they took this photo?"

Jasper broke eye contact involuntarily, turning to play with the plastic fork on his lunch tray. "Exactly what the picture shows..." Then he smiled. "I should be getting an Oscar for all of this."

"You'll get something else hard, that's for sure," Emmett remarked.

Jasper took another grape and threw it at Emmett's head. The two of them then exchanged a kind of we've-shared-a-lifetime-of-idiotic-pranks-together goofy grin. Honestly, a caricature artist could have a field-day with their expression.

The only thing missing from the table was Alice. Jasper wasn't going to pretend that he knew where she was. He hoped that he hadn't pushed it too far this morning in the hall. It was something that had kind of just happened in the moment, something he had tried to analyse after-the-fact to no avail.

Normally, it would not have been something to worry about. However, since what had transpired on Friday night, he felt a slice of responsibility to behave around her. He wasn't used to such delicacy when it came to others - that's why he had such a brute of a best friend. She was going to be a challenge.

A challenge he wanted, nonetheless.

He was leisurely walking to fifth period class, noting the number of people who deliberately looked at him, when he felt a small hand slip into his.

Startled, he looked over to find Alice had come up beside him. She wrapped her other arm around his. "There's a rumour going around that we're faking it," she said lowly. "Someone said something about the dare..."

He looked around to make sure no-one was eavesdropping - the general hum of those around suggested it wouldn't be the case.

"Where did you hear this?"

She wasn't going to tell him that she had just spent all of lunch hyperventilating over his hands on her in the girls' toilets and overheard it in there. No way. "Doesn't matter, but I heard it more than once."

"So, it matters to you now?"

_Was that the sound of pleasure in his voice? _Alice wondered. She shook her head slightly in response to both his question and her internal one. "We jumped into the deep end this morning, it's too late to back out."

He warmed at that. He knew that was her way of saying she now cared about their faux-relationship.

But, that was the problem at hand: it was only fake.

"What about if we tone it down?" he thought out loud.

She looked quizzically at him.

"Maybe being showy is too much of a contrast for them, and that's why they don't believe it...? If we just play civil for a little while, we can build up to it."

They approached the classroom door, Jasper holding it open for her. She scuttled past and made a move to sit in Emmett's seat - past the wandering eyes of the class. Jasper sat next to her without even second guessing it.

"What if," she devised, turning in her seat to look at him, "we make it look like we're getting caught when we don't want to be?"

He looked at her, intrigued. She could be on to something.

"Like, we hide out the back of the gym, and when someone comes, we make it look like we've just been caught making out and pretending to be doing nothing."

"Pretending to do nothing while actually doing nothing? This is like Inception."

"Is it too much for your brain to handle?" she asked. "Do I need to draw a picture."

He smiled cheekily at her. "I would like a picture, actually."

"Don't even..."

"There's plenty more where that came from." He watched her stroke her lips again, probably unconsciously. "So... does this plan of yours go beyond a concept?"

"As a matter of fact," she said, dropping her hand. "It does. I also overheard that Jessica and Lauren are going to the town library on Thursday after school for this assignment... If we get 'caught' outside of school, it will prove to them that this isn't a dare."

Jasper couldn't help but scrunch up his nose. "The _library_?"

"Come on! They're the biggest gossips in school!" Alice all but hissed. She didn't like the library all that much, either, but the plan was solid. She'd be damned if he overturned her idea that she had worked on all of lunch. "Besides, we need to get working on this assignment."

He agreed, nodding. "Okay. Thursday at the library. But, don't you think we're leaving a lot to chance? If the plan doesn't work, we only have Friday left to convince everyone..."

She thought on that for a moment. "Well, we could do something else in the meantime..."

"Like what?"

"Pfft, I don't know! It's your turn to think of something."

The two were so engrossed in their thinking that they hadn't noticed Bella and Emmett bustle past and sit behind them.

"W-"

"What are you two lovebirds yapping about?" Emmett asked, wiggling his brows when they looked at him simultaneously.

"Just plotting your demise..." Alice said before Jasper could. He didn't know that he smiled at her for that.

He could hear Emmett and Bella chuckling at the insult, but he was zeroed-in on her lips again. Damn, they looked good.

Out of nowhere, it hit him. "Wednesday afternoon, I know what we can do."

"What?" she said, her mouth moving.

He leaned over to her, tilted her chin up slightly and gently claimed her lips again. It was just two small taps, but it was enough to give him control of his body again.

"You're really starting to push it," Alice said only loud enough for him to hear, drawing back slightly from the touch. "Now, what's the plan for Wednesday?"

"It's probably best I keep the element of surprise..."

"Oh, no you don't."

He just smiled and swivelled back into a respectable distance in his chair, and focused his attention to the front of the classroom.

All she could think about - other than the sweet softness that had pressed into her own lips - was that their knees had made contact up against each other. The thought of it made her feel closer to him than just plain old kissing. It felt intimate because they had been comfortable enough not to worry about other body parts staying separate from the other. It was intimate because it was that much closer to her thighs. It was a stupid notion, for sure, she thought.

She began to spin the pencil around in her fingers, and it got the cogs in her head working.

And then it hit her. The pencil stopped moving.

Oh, lord. She actually sort of properly wanted_ him_.


End file.
